Paradise Lost
by BittersweetSymphony-TheVerve
Summary: Paradise Lost; Following the 1st chapter of the book written by Kate Brian. The Billings girls take a trip to St. Barts on winter break. Full summary inisde! R
1. Together

_Hey All!  
Here is my NEW Paradise Lost story following the first chapter of the Book owned my Kate Brian._

_Summary:  
(don't forget to read on www. privatenovels .com the first chapter of paradise lost!)  
The Killer has been found, Reed's life slowly starts to form once again. First with Billings and Noelle, then slowly trying to for the once strong relationship with Josh.  
The Billings girl are in dire need for some relaxation time, and through winter break take a trip to St. Barts.  
But what Reed doesn't know is, just because the killer was found, doesn't mean they can all live happily ever after!_

_I do not own the Private series; Kate Brian does!  


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_I turned and started down the hall, my footsteps heavy. A few doors down, I paused and looked over my shoulder. He was still standing there, watching me. Watching me walk away from him. "Keep me posted, okay? On how she's doing."_

_"I promise."_

_So there it was. Goodbye. I was going to be strong. I was not going to pine and whine and wish. I was going to be good. For me, for Josh, and for Ivy. That was my promise to myself._

I started towards once again to the waiting room. I had to just deal with one problem: Josh and Ivy, now it was onto the next: Easton itself. Noelle and Billings. I was scared, to know I was somewhat alone on this and being in this cold hospital didn't help much either.

Noelle Lange was standing, waiting attentively, watching me approach her. Including the rest of The Billings girls, some Pemberley girls that I remembered and some I didn't. I saw a few Ketlar Boys included.

I didn't know how to start off, I was never the one for introductions or speeches and now wasn't the best time to start. Lucky for me, Noelle being who she is, got to the point. "How is she?"

I took a deep breath and spoke, "She's still unconscious. But from what the doctors told Josh, she should be okay. Apparently she was shot about an inch and a half away from her lung, but the only reason she isn't awake is because she did lose a lot of blood. But should make a full recovery."

I could see the relief wash over the student's faces. Everyone started to speak within themselves. The only one who didn't was Noelle.

She had her eyes on me, the whole time. Worry and grief filled within them. My own eyes locked with hers, not understanding why she would care.

She was the one, who was quick to judge that I would cheat with Dash McCafferty, her current boyfriend, on her. She was the one who kicked me out of her sacred Billings. She was the one, who wouldn't listen to my pleads and sorrows. Yet, she was the one who put her hand on my shoulder throughout the confrontation with Sabine.

She did still care. I knew it. I could feel it. It was the same as Josh. It would be the same with everyone else, but it was a tad different with Noelle.

We had been through so much the past year and a half. Starting with my sophomore year, my first year at Easton.

The year with all of our old friends and some we would like to forget, Taylor Bell, Kiran Hayes, Thomas Pearson, Cheyenne Martin and Arianna Osgood.

Thomas Pearson, my late boyfriend. My dead boyfriend. It still brought a wash of sadness over me. Now looking back I don't know if I was truly ever in love with Thomas, still though I loved him. I missed him. God, did I miss him. Even now, at this moment. Even though I once was happy with Josh.

If only Arianna wouldn't have gone psycho bitch on us. If only we would have known. If only Thomas didn't have to be as good at keeping secrets as he once was, he might have been here. It could have ALL been different.

I shook my head to get the thought away. I couldn't let him slip into my mind again. He was gone. It was over with. Like Cheyenne Martin was gone.

Another experience me and Noelle had gotten through together was Cheyenne's death. Whom I thought killed her was to be Ivy Slade. The girl now laying unconscious in a hospital bed because of me. Yet Sabine DuLac happened to be held for Cheyenne's murder. So many deadly memories happened at this supposed to be 'ideal boarding school'.

But it was time for the present, because in front of me held a very worried Noelle Lange, that was slowly and cautiously walking towards me.

As in a blink of an eye, there she was. Standing right in front of me. The same worried and grief filled in her eyes. But what caught me off guard the most was, before I could even respond, I was in her tight embrace.

Noelle never showed her emotions. She wasn't the one for affection either. Yet she made the first move. It was a chess game. And she made a bold shift. I responded of course, and wrapped my own arms around her. Giving each other the missed time that we both needed.

Without speaking we understood. We had once become so close of friends, that she even thought of me as her little sister. And through this moment, we regained our connection to each other.

We pulled away, after a few more needed moments. Staring at each other. Then she broke out into a small, real smile and spoke, "I don't know how to exactly say sorry."

Her voice was soft, and mine was to match, "There is no way, I don't think. We just have to move past this. Together."

We linked our hands together to emphasize the meaning behind the strong statement. "Together," she stated, firmly. "Are you ready for the apologies you deserve?"

I thought about the question for a second. I wasn't ready. I really wasn't emotionally strong enough at the moment for them. But I had to stop feeling sorry for myself. I needed to be strong. I was at least healthy and somewhat safe. "Yeah."

She smiled at me again, then said, "Come on for some much needed attention." She took my hand and I followed her to where the rest of the Billings girls were waiting.

The first to approach was Astrid and Constance. "How are you doing Reed?" Constance asked, worried filled throughout her voice. Her red frizzy hair was dissembled, running all over the place.

"I'm okay. A little in shock, but I think I will live," I said, trying to enforce humor. The three girls surrounding me noticed.

Astrid engulfed me into a hug and cried in her thick British accent, "Oh Reed! I can't believe Sabine would do that to you! We all thought she was so wonderful, I'm so, so sorry."

I tried to force a light chuckle as Astrid pulled away, "Thanks. She did do a good job at fooling us though."

Noelle was the one to speak, "I always knew something was off with that girl. I just wished I would've done a background check on her. This could have been easily avoidable."

I was in no shape to hear Noelle take the blame so I stopped her. "Noelle, it wasn't your fault. She was good. Who would've known."

"You're right," Constance agreed. I smiled at her and she smiled back.

Throughout our gathering Rose, Portia, Kiki, Vienna, London, Missy and Lorna had joined our group.

Rose was the first to speak throughout them, "Reed, I think I can speak for all of us, we're all glad to see you okay."

I wasn't shocked to hear that, it was expected, yet still felt nice at the same time to feel liked by old friends. "Thank you Rose. And I know to everyone else also, thanks."

The obnoxious Missy Thurber herself, who always held some kind of vendetta against me, had to add her own remark, "Even though this seems like a cute pity party for you Reed, and I would love to join it, Ivy Slade is laying unconscious in a hospital bed right now. All because of…"

She wasn't able to finish that sentence, because Noelle jumped all over it, "Missy shut up! Reed has been through a lot the past few months, and it would be nice not just for her, but for all of us, if you could save the smart ass remarks for now."

Missy gave her large nostrils a flair and with a very dramatic "huff" walked to join Amberley Carmichael who was standing near a wall across the waiting room, eyes narrowed at me. I didn't have time to wonder what her problem was because Lorna spoke up, "Sorry about Missy, Reed. I hope your okay."

With a true smile she followed Missy in pursuit like always. Lorna was Missy's own lackey. Her mini-mi. Always doing what was told. It was nice to hear an apology from her, since she never would be against Missy.

"Now that's over with," Noelle started, "We have some business to speak of Reed, and I think for your sake it would be best that we get back to Easton. You can come visit later on."

As much as I wanted to leave this cold, sterile hospital, I couldn't. Knowing Josh was in room 4007, holding Ivy's hand and waiting for her to open her eyes made me jealous.

I wanted Josh back. I wanted him to be the one taking me back to Easton. The one saying everything is going to be okay. I wanted him. That simple.

But I had already made a promise to myself that I wasn't going to think selfish thoughts. Ivy needed Josh. And, as much as it hurts to say, Josh needed Ivy. They needed to be strong for each other. I didn't know how strong Josh' feelings are for Ivy, but I know that they are there. He cares enough to not leave her alone. To be the only someone she truly has.

And standing in front of me, was the only someone I had. Noelle. Who had hope in her eyes, to rekindle our strained relationship. No, she wasn't Josh. But it was a start, back to my old life. I just had to take one step at a time.

"Yeah," I started softly, looking up at Noelle, "Let's get back to Easton."

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_So what do you think? Please read and review, and I will try to post again! _

_-Marie_


	2. The Awakening

_Hey Everyone. Here's the next chapter! Hope you enjoy!_

_I do not own Private Novels; Kate Brian does _

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_As much as I wanted to leave this cold, sterile hospital, I couldn't. Knowing Josh was in room 4007, holding Ivy's hand and waiting for her to open her eyes made me jealous. _

_I wanted Josh back. I wanted him to be the one taking me back to Easton. The one saying everything is going to be okay. I wanted him. That simple. _

_But I had already made a promise to myself that I wasn't going to think selfish thoughts. Ivy needed Josh. And, as much as it hurts to say, Josh needed Ivy. They needed to be strong for each other. I didn't know how strong Josh' feelings are for Ivy, but I know that they are there. He cares enough to not leave her alone. To be the only someone she truly has. _

_And standing in front of me, was the only someone I had. Noelle. Who had hope in her eyes, to rekindle our strained relationship. No, she wasn't Josh. But it was a start, back to my old life. I just had to take one step at a time. _

_"Yeah," I started softly, looking up at Noelle, "Let's get back to Easton." _

I followed Noelle out the doors of Edward Billings Memorial Hospital, a chilling gust of wind slapping into my face. The skies a dark and looming gray, ready to open to let the welcoming rain fall.

There was a black Lincoln town car, waiting to take us back to Easton. Our home. Our home that is filled with deadly memories. A chill went through my spine just thinking about the past few months.

Noelle obviously had spotted my anxiety and stated in a soft and warm voice, "Don't worry Reed. The killers have been found. Sabine is going to the same crazy place as her sister. Everything is going to be fine now."

As much as I wanted to believer her, to trust her on her statement, there was a part inside me that couldn't. There was somewhere inside of me, I just don't know where, that knew this isn't over. That it would never be over.

But I didn't want to be weak. I didn't want to show Noelle that I felt scared and vulnerable so I lied, "Yeah. Everything's going to be fine."

An older man that looked to be in his late sixties who worked for Easton, opened the car door for us as we slid into the back sit. The driver slid into the drivers sit, and started the route back to Easton.

I sat looking out the window, watching the trees blend together as we sped away. Not many cars were out this Saturday morning.

After a few minutes of silence, Noelle decided to break it, "Reed, I think we need to talk." She had apprehension in her tone, and she sounded worried. I knew she wanted to talk about everything that has happened and me and where I stood with Billings, but I wasn't emotionally ready for that.

"I need a little time Noelle. I'm exhausted right now, and with everything that has happened I'm still in shock. We will talk, just later on, please," I practically begged.

She gave me a smile and said, "I figured you were going to say that. So you go back to Pemberley, get some sleep and when you're ready to talk you know where to find me."

"Thanks," I said and gave her my best smile.

"No problem," she said as we pulled through the gates of Easton. The old oak trees were towering as we drove up to the driveway in front of Bradwell. The first day I arrived here at Easton, I was intimated by these ancient block buildings, now knowing what went on behind them, made me feel full of pity.

Once we stopped the driver got out of the car, and went to my side as he opened the door he said, "Welcome back to Easton."

"Thank you," I said and smiled.

He smiled back and wore a shocked expression on his face, as if no one ever told him thank you before, "Well, you're very welcome."

Me and Noelle walked towards the quad together and before we had to make our separate ways she said, "Text me when you're ready. Get some sleep also, you don't want dark circles to form or stress lines."

I let out a light laugh and she followed along suit, "I will. See you later."

She gave me a slight wave and walked towards Billings, while I made my way towards Pemberley and my billings sized closet of a room.

I went to change out of my gold mini-dress and put on comfy Juicy Couture sweats and a Penn State t-shirt.

I washed my face and brushed my teeth, trying to make myself feel somewhat better. On my way back to my room from the bathroom, I had to pass Ivy's room. The door was closed, her roommate must have been with her at the hospital.

Pemberley and Easton itself was deserted. All probably sitting in the waiting room awaiting Ivy's awakening. I would go back to the hospital later once I knew Ivy was awake and try to face her.

She probably never wanted to talk to me again, I thought as I collapsed on my some-what comfortable double bed. Who could blame her? Her current boyfriend tried to save his ex-girlfriend, while she was stuck with no one left.

Skimming my memories of ever since I've known Ivy and now understanding that she was not the one to kill Cheyenne, I would say that she was a better person than me.

She was backstabbed by the Billings Girls a few years ago, in her junior year. Cheyenne, her best friend at the time, left her while she needed her the most. She blamed her own grandmother's death on herself, when in fact it wasn't. Her family didn't respect her for the longest time and she had no one.

Yet now, she had Josh. She never hurt Josh. She never hurt anyone. Me though, I had hurt Josh, even though drugged, I still had hurt him by kissing Dash. I hurt Noelle. I even hurt the Billing's girls. I put being president of Billing's in front of my relationship with Josh.

I didn't deserve Josh. He deserved to be happy with someone, without any drama. Ivy could be that person for him.

The only reason Ivy is laying lifeless in a hospital bed is because we teamed together to find Cheyenne's killer and our stalker. If she wouldn't have done that, she would probably just be waking up to a gloomy Saturday morning, a regular Easton day.

With all of these different thoughts flowing freely through my blank mind I couldn't sleep. Tossing and turning recklessly in this bed wasn't going to help me get the sleep that I needed.

I checked the clock that was sitting on my desk near my computer, and saw that it was 11:23 A.M.. Just fifteen hours ago, someone had tried to kill me. Just fifteen hours ago, I found the truth.

The text message ring of my iPhone brought my thoughts to a halt. I walked over to my desk where I put my phone and checked to see who it was from: Mark.

**To: Reed**

**Just herd wat happened. R u ok? Call me once u get ths. **

**From: Mark **

Mark. My other friend that tried to help me solve Cheyenne's death. Since he was on the newspaper committee, he was planning on doing an expose on Cheyenne's death. I dialed his number and it ran three times before he picked up.

"Reed," Mark's frantic voice said. I could just tell from one word he was worried.

"Hi Mark," I said, trying to sound somewhat sane.

"Are you okay? What happened? Are you at Easton or at the hospital? Did you get hurt? Well of course you couldn't be hurt because if you were hurt you wouldn't be on the phone right now," he was rambling, so I interrupted his out loud thoughts to answer his questions.

"Mark. I'm fine. I'm at Easton in my room. I didn't get hurt, only Ivy. But she's going to be okay," I said in a calm voice.

"Thank god! You have no idea how worried I was. You should see how crazy it is here at the hospital. Ivy just woke up! Everyone is trying to see her, but right now Josh is in there," he said the last part softly.

Ivy is awake though! Another weight shifted off of my shoulders and just lifted away. But Josh was with her. His probably is being the great boyfriend I once knew. Stop thinking like that Reed!

"That's great! It's good that she's awake," I said with happiness in my voice.

"Yeah it is. Wait, Josh just walked out of her room. Reed, I'll call you later," Mark said.

"Okay, bye," I told him and we hung up.

Josh left her room? Why would he leave her room? He was supposed to be with her. Not leaving her side. The boyfriend that I loved wouldn't leave.

My thought's once again were halted when my phone ran with another text message from: Noelle.

**To: Reed**

**Ivy is awake. Just thought u shuld kno. **

**From: Noelle**

I decided to text her back.

**To: Noelle**

**Thnks. Mark told me tho. Herd its crazy at the hospital. She shuld be fine. **

**From: Reed**

I received a text right away.

**To: Reed**

**I thought u were sleeping? **

**From: Noelle**

I texted her back the truth.

**To: Noelle**

**I cant really. But we will talk later. **

**From: Reed**

Once again, I received a text in an instant.

**To: Reed**

**Ok. Try tho. Call me wen ur ready. **

**From: Noelle. **

I decided to take her advice, so I placed my phone back on my desk and dropped onto my bed once again. Once my head hit the pillow filled with feathers, I fell into unconsciousness. And Sabine's face mocking me in my own nightmares.

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_Okay...So what do you guys think? I'm starting chapter 3 now, and it should be up in a few days! Please read and review and it will be up faster! That's all I ask!_

_-Marie_


	3. Talk, Talk, Talk

_Hey guys! I decided to post again. I'll explain at the bottom of the page author's note, so please read that!  
Hope you enjoy the new chapter!_

_I do not own the Private Novels; Kate Brian does! _

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_My thought's once again were halted when my phone rang with another text message from: Noelle. _

_**To: Reed**_

_**Ivy is awake. Just thought u shuld kno. **_

_**From: Noelle**_

_I decided to text her back._

_**To: Noelle**_

_**Thnks. Mark told me tho. Herd its crazy at the hospital. She shuld be fine. **_

_**From: Reed**_

_I received a text right away. _

_**To: Reed**_

_**I thought u were sleeping? **_

_**From: Noelle**_

_I texted her back the truth. _

_**To: Noelle**_

_**I cant really. But we will talk later. **_

_**From: Reed**_

_Once again, I received a text in an instant. _

_**To: Reed**_

_**Ok. Try tho. Call me wen ur ready. **_

_**From: Noelle. **_

_ I decided to take her advice, so I placed my phone back on my desk and dropped onto my bed once again. Once my head hit the pillow filled with feathers, I fell into unconsciousness. And Sabine's face mocking me in my own nightmares. _

My 'nap' didn't last long. Having Sabine's face ridicule me, during the only time that I get to slip into an unconscious state didn't ease my already jumping nerves. And having my phone ring again didn't make me any happier.

My phone's regular ring tone went off and I groggily got off my bed and answered the phone without looking to see who was calling me.

"Hello," I answered unsteadily.

"Reed! Are you okay," I heard Josh' voice fill my ears, he sounded worried. My heart did a flip, but then I mentally scolded myself for it.

"I'm fine, why?"

"You sound terrible. Did I interrupt something," he asked, full of worry and concern.

"No, I was trying to sleep but it wasn't working out so well," I said, truthfully. I wasn't going to lie to Josh anymore. Learning from my pasts mistakes, lying only made things worse.

"I'm sorry if I woke you," he said, sheepishly.

"No you didn't. I wasn't sleeping much before anyway, so what's up," I asked, curious of his call. Then it dawned on me, he was calling to keep his promise to keep me posted with Ivy. Of course.

"Ivy is awake and I'm on my way back to Easton. But, she practically kicked me out telling me to get cleaned up, so I'm going back after lunch," he said softly as he continued, "She requested for me to bring you when I go back."

I was somewhat shocked. Was she so mad at me that she wanted to scream and vent, right after she awoke from being shot? "Sure," I barely squeaked out.

Josh noticed the high pitch tone in my voice and countered, "Please, hold your enthusiasm."

I laughed lightly, "Very funny. But are you sure you don't want, umm, some alone time with her," I asked very quietly. Even though I hoped he was going to say no, I wanted him to say yes, so I wouldn't have to face her.

"No," he said to quickly. I raised my eyebrows even though he couldn't see it. "What I mean is, I don't think that is necessary. She requested you, so you must come."

"Fine. I'll meet you in the quad at 1:30," I said, trying to finish this conversation, even though I knew after this I was going to have about an hour to panic on what I would face with Ivy.

"All right. See you then," he said and we both hung up.

I threw my phone on my bed and it plopped with a small jump back up in the air, then back down onto the bed. I followed in pursuit.

Why would Ivy tell Josh to bring me with him, to visit her? Did she want to let me know as soon as possible that she loathed me? To stay away from her and Josh? Had Josh told her already about the gift I made him for Christmas? Why couldn't my life just get somewhat easier? Yes, I had Noelle back, but this extra stress with Ivy and Josh, wasn't helping me rebuild the life I once had and wanted back.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm myself so I don't have a panic attack from the recent events. I knew I should be making my way to the dining hall right now to get some lunch, but I couldn't bring myself to it. To try and live a normal life when Ivy was in a hospital bed, getting ready to yell me out didn't put me in a happy mood and made me sick to my stomach. If I were to put food in my system now, it would just come back out and I didn't need that.

I checked the clock to see how much time I had, thirty minutes. I had just spent, thirty minutes contemplating my situation between Ivy and Josh, and if I kept sitting here, it would be another thirty minutes.

I got off from my bed and made my way down the hall towards the bathroom to freshen up. I washed my face again and used the lavatory, following washing my hands. I walked back to my room and took off my Penn State t-shirt, to put on a tan Topless t-shirt, that had a sketch of a giraffe on it. I grabbed my Penn State sweatshirt, knowing that it was still cold outside and put that on. I didn't care how I dressed. If Noelle saw what I was wearing now, she would scold me for it.

I took a quick look in the mirror to see how I looked. My hair was in a disarray, so I quickly ran a brush through it and put it in a low pony tail with a black plaid Mark Jacobs headband holding it back. I had dark circles under my eyes and looked like I hadn't slept in weeks. The sleep I had been missing ever since I found out of Cheyenne's death has finally caught up with me and my physical appearance.

There was no point on trying to fix myself to look better, because it wouldn't work, so I gave up and grabbed a small Gucci wristlet, Noelle had given me awhile back and put my cell phone, and other necessities in it.

Right when I was walking out the door, I noticed I only had socks on. I really am a mess. So I quickly took those off and grabbed my ankle black knit UGG boots to overlap my pants. Once I slipped them onto my feet, I was in pure bliss. The soft, luscious sheep skin did the job to relax and unwind my anxiousness, just by comfort.

I then headed out my room and out of Pemberley, where I was hit with a cold blast of wind, that came onto me like a wall. It was slightly drizzling out, the skies getting ready to open for a downpour of rain. I quickly made my way to the Quad, where I saw Josh sitting on a bench.

He was no longer dressed in his bloody clothes, and had a Yale sweatshirt on with jeans. Even with something so simple, he looked very desirable. As I got closer to him, he noticed me coming and turned to me with a small smile that I matched.

Once I approached him, I got a better look of his blue eyes, that usually were so pure and full with joy, now they were blank. Pain etching around and anxiety. I just wanted to be the one to get rid of all that.

He stood from his bench and started walking towards me, where we met and he said softly, "Hi."

"Hi," I said, trying to force a smile which I knew he could read through.

"Ready," he asked as he turned to walk towards the front of the Bradwell building, where the driveway was located.

"Yeah," I said and followed behind him. The air around us was thick and heavy, and you could cut the tension with a knife. So many questions that haven't been asked, just wanting to explode out of my mouth like a volcano. Yet, I kept quiet. And so did he.

As we got closer to the driveway, I didn't see his Black Range Rover, so I asked, "Where's your Range Rover?"

He finally got out of whatever trance he was in and answered, "I couldn't drive it anymore. Everything that happened with Thomas and Arianna," he took a deep breath, remembering the awful memories as did I. "It was just too much."

I nodded my head, understanding. He turned from his gaze on me and started towards a black Cayenne Turbo Porsche, that had black rims. As we approached the car, he opened the passenger door for me and I said a quiet "thank you," with a small smile.

"Your welcome," he said as he closed the door for me. As he walked towards the driver's side of the mid-sized vehicle, I was able to breathe in his natural scent that was filled with nature and paint.

He opened the driver's door and took a sit in the driver's seat. He started the engine, as it purred like a cat, so smooth and delicate. He slowly made our way from Easton, where we entered the real world.

The tension was still strong and tense. I didn't want to move, and do something wrong so I stayed quiet. Just looking out the window as the rain started to become harder and harder. The green oak trees blurred together as we sped from them away. Getting lost in my own quiet world, Josh must have noticed because he asked slowly, "How are you dealing?"

How was I dealing? Horribly. I felt like I was stuck in a bubble and I was never going to get out. Whenever I close my eyes, I see Sabine's face holding a gun right at me, and the shot going off. But, it wasn't like I was going to tell him that. "I'm, dealing."

He nodded his head as if a way to tell me he understood. Another few minutes passed by of silence, before he broke it again. "If you need to talk, I'm here," he spoke softly, and his voice was gentle.

A smile formed on my lips and I responded, "Thanks. And if you need to talk also, I'm here." He smiled a warm, true and genuine smile that made me feel better. He was glad that I still cared.

"Reed, we're going to have to talk soon. About a lot of different things," he said, glancing in my direction.

I rubbed my eyes with my hands, just so tired and run down. Talk. The one thing I wasn't ready for. Talk with Noelle. Talk with Josh. Talk with Ivy. Talk. Talk. Talk. It was just, so frustrating. Why did things have to be difficult? Why couldn't life be easy? As much as I wanted to talk with Josh, and Noelle, I wasn't ready yet. I was still in shock. Just entering reality.

"Yeah, talk," I said slowly and quietly. I turned my attention to him and gave him a fake smile, just trying to reassure him of something.

"Later," he said as we entered the hospital parking lot. "After this."

I nodded my head as he parked his car and jumped out to open the door for me. I had my hand on the handle and started to open it, so he didn't feel required to open the door for me. Yet he still made his way toward my side and was able to help me out. Once again I said a quiet "thank you," and he followed with a warm smile and "you're welcome."

We made our way towards the hospital, the air still somewhat tense, yet it was more warm and welcoming around us. The sliding doors opened and the chill of the hospital ran sudden fear through me.

Here I was. Walking towards Ivy. With the guy I still loved, who she loved. She wanted to talk, so we were. We were going to talk. I was walking towards my own personal hell, where a fuming Ivy would be waiting. I had agreed to this!

My eyes started darting around, to the surrounding people, yet could not focus on a single person. I think there were some Easton students lounging in the waiting room, I couldn't be sure. It all seemed to be a blur.

My heart started to speed up, as we made our way down the long, cold, sterile hallway that led to room 4007. I couldn't hear the passing nurses and doctors. The noises of health machines, beeping through the opened doors leading to another person's misfortune, couldn't even subdued the loud beats of my heart, racing through my body.

My first walk through this hall, was somewhat different. I was meeting Josh. I knew Ivy wasn't awake and I could handle that. But now, I had to face a very awake Ivy. An Ivy that wanted me. She wanted to get all of her accumulated rage out on me.

As we reached room 4007, Josh turned to look at me and gave me an encouraging smile. He then put his gentle hand on the probably cold doorknob and turned the handle. Slowly opening the door, as a small creak let out. I did a quick peek inside before Josh took the lead for me to follow, and saw a very enthused looking Ivy. As expected, Josh took the lead and left me to follow.

Before I entered the room, "Dear lord," I cried in my mind, "What did I get myself into?"

Then an expression that an old friend back in my home town Croton, Pennsylvania told me, filled my mind, "Life's tough, get a helmet!"

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_So, what do you think? I always loved that expression, "life's tough, get a helmet!" so I had to figure a way to include it! Anyway, the reason I updated again is because I won't be able to update for a couple of days. I might be able to tomorrow, but I'm not making any promises! See, I'm leaving friday to play in a tennis tournament, and decided not to bring my laptop since I wouldn't have time to even go on it. Anyway, I hopefully won't be back till monday, so I won't be able to start writing another chapter till tuesday, and ext..So, I thought I'd give you this! Please do me two things; wish me luck for my tournament and review! That's all i ask!_

_-Marie!_


	4. Be My Someone

_So I was able to write another chapter! Please read the author's not at the bottom of the page though..  
Hope you enjoy this chapter!_

_I do not own the Private Novels; Kate Brian does... _

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_As we reached room 4007, Josh turned to look at me and gave me an encouraging smile. He then put his gentle hand on the probably cold doorknob and turned the handle. Slowly opening the door, as a small creak let out. I did a quick peek inside before Josh took the lead for me to follow, and saw a very enthused looking Ivy. As expected, Josh took the lead and left me to follow._

_Before I entered the room, "Dear lord," I cried in my mind, "What did I get myself into?"_

_Then a statement that an old friend back in my home town Croton, Pennsylvania told me, filled my mind, "Life's tough, get a helmet!"_

I followed Josh into Ivy's hospital room, where she was laying on her bed. There were two other people in the room, who I figured to be Ivy's parents. Her mother had the same dark, black hair as Ivy, yet hers was cut into a medium bob. She was thin and tall, almost model worthy. Ivy's father was sitting in a chair near Ivy's bed, he had blonde hair and was very fit. He looked tall, almost 6 '3', an athlete probably.

Once Ivy spotted me, a smile broke onto her face as she said, "Finally. Reed, I really wanted to talk to you," she said as she smiled at me. She then turned her attention to Josh, who was standing next to me, uncomfortably, "Thanks for bringing her."

Josh gave her a warm smile and said, "No problem." He walked over to her bed and kissed her forehead. I turned my head to give them there moment, which was eating me inside. I felt a pang of jealousy, hit me in my heart, or where my heart used to be. Now it was two broken pieces.

She gave Josh a warm smile, then turned to her parents, "Mom, dad, do you mind giving me and Reed some privacy," she asked with a soft voice that I had never heard before. Usually her voice towards me so full of venom or a hardness, that it was a shock to me that she does have a sweet, soft voice.

"Of course honey. If you need anything, we'll be out in the waiting room," her mother spoke as she rose from her chair and walked towards the door, her husband following behind. Once she passed Josh she spoke to him, "Josh, why don't you give these two girls some privacy also."

Her mother gave me a warm smile, that was surprising, as she passed. Her father did the same. Josh just put his hand on my shoulder and gave it an encouraging squeeze, as my body felt satisfied from his touch.

Once the three left the room, it was only me and Ivy. She patted the space next to her on her bed for me to come sit, which shocked me. Why would she want me to sit next to her? To be so close? So she could strangle me with the wire from her IV?

She saw the astonished look on my face, so she spoke in a teasing voice, "Don't worry Reed, I don't bite. Plus, people have told me that my bark is much worse." I let out a chuckle, and felt the anxiousness drain from my body knowing that this was not going to be a screaming match.

I went to sit on her bed when I noticed that her shoulder had a bandage wrapped around it and gauze. Her face had more color to it, than before the pale, death face that scared me. Her hair still was in disorder, she obviously hadn't been able to look In a mirror yet, knowing her she would throw a hissy for her appearance.

We were in silence before I broke it asking the most obvious question that could be asked, "How are you?"

She let out a light chuckle then said, "Tough question to answer to. I'm feeling okay. Just a little soreness in my shoulder, but the pain medication is doing the job. How are you though? Must be a little tough knowing that your BFF, was sister's to the girl who previously tried to kill you. Must be in a little shock," she said bluntly.

I felt my lips form a small smile and said, "Thanks for being blunt. But I'm okay, just in shock and am emotionally drained."

"Yeah, me too," she said softly, and then we slipped into silence again.

I was trying to form the words that were flowing through my mind to make the next sentence sound right, "I just want to say thanks."

"For what," Ivy asked, a little confused.

I took a deep breath, "For helping me find Cheyenne's murderer and our stalker. If it wasn't for you, I could be lying dead in a dark ally, somewhere in Boston. Though I would have rather been shot than you, you didn't deserve this. This was my problem and you were innocent in everything. I'm so sorry you had to be hurt in this Ivy, I really didn't want It like this."

I spoke slowly and cautiously, everything coming out of my mouth being true. I wanted her to understand my side, to know that this is not what I wanted. I will never be able to release the guilt that I feel, knowing Ivy was a regular bystander and was hurt.

She looked at me astonished for a few moments then spoke softly and slowly, "Reed, I don't do niceness or anything so don't get cocky after I say this because it so isn't me, but that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. I know it's corny, but it's true. I know I wouldn't be able to say the same."

She was honest which I appreciated. But once you're in the mess I'm in, you would feel the same guilt that I do. "Trust me, you would. But thanks for the honesty."

"I mean, I don't think a lot of people would say that they would rather have been shot than another person. I know it's just words but still, I can tell by your body language that you mean it. Thank you," she said gently.

"Your welcome. And if there's anything I can do, anything at all, please don't hesitate to ask," I said sympathetically. "I should go, your parents probably want to spend time with you, also Josh."

"Yeah," she said faintly.

I started towards the door when she called my name, "Reed wait." I turned to look at her and she was about to say something, but closed her mouth quickly. She put a small fake smile on her face as she said, "Don't be a stranger."

I nodded my head and smiled at her. "Feel better Ivy."

I put my small, thin hand on the cold, metal doorknob and turned the handle. I opened the door and made my way out towards the waiting room. I wrapped my arms around my body, feeling cold and tried to find Josh.

"How did it go," a voice asked behind me and I turned to see Josh standing only a foot away. He had a curious eyes and a small smile on his lips.

"It actually went well," I said and smiled.

He raised his eyebrows then nodded his head, his smile growing as he spoke, "I figured it would. Are you ready to go back?"

I was confused, wouldn't he want to go see Ivy? "Don't you want to spend some time with Ivy? I don't mind waiting," I spoke.

It took him a moment to process the sentence then I could see that the light bulb went off in his head because the smile vanished and his face turned as hard as stone, "Yeah. I'll be back," he shortly and dread filled his voice, as walked away towards Ivy's room.

Bizarre. I wondered over to a lone chair that was off in a corner in the waiting room, near a window that looked out into the pouring rain. Most Easton student's had departed, and there were only families waiting for their beloved ones, huddled into their own groups.

I looked out into the rain, a dark forest surrounding the hospital. Puddles already forming on the black pavement. I found the rain mesmerizing and relaxing. The steady flow of the downpour, not letting up. The dark skies looming and never wanting to leave, or give any opening to sunlight. Darkness surrounding everything. I closed my eyes, trying to fight the panic that was nearing through my body. But Sabine's face blocked my peacefulness. Her hard face and the gun she was holding, ridiculing me.

My breaths started to get sharper, and my heart started to race. I felt so alone. Under water and there was no way to get out. I was being drowned, by Sabine. She succeeded in her plan to ruin me. Killing me would've been the easy way out in my case this, was much, much worse than any pain I could feel from a bullet. This was reality. This is what I would have to live through the rest of my life. Being suffocated in my own world. In my sleep. She would never leave my mind. Whether it was her or Arianna, they both won.

I felt someone touch my shoulder and I let out a scream, full of fright. As I opened my eyes I saw that it was only Josh, standing in front of me full of worry and somewhat scared. I let out a deep breath and Josh spoke, "Reed, are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I'm fine," I lied and got out of my sit and started to walk towards the exit doors so I could go back to my own personal hell in sleep.

Josh stood there for a second then caught up with, grabbing my wrist gently and worried filled his face, "You're not all right. You were practically having a panic attack. What's going on Reed, talk to me."

His face was pleading and I felt terrible for putting him like that. "Later," I stated. He nodded his head, and knowing him later would be very soon.

He took the lead for me to follow him through the sliding doors and towards the parking lot. We stepped out the sliding doors and Josh spoke/yelled over the pouring rain, "Do you want me to bring the car around? I don't want you to get soaked."

He was always the gentleman, but a little water wouldn't do me any harm. "No. I'll just sprint for it," I yelled back.

He looked at me puzzled for a second then looked down to my feet, seeing that I had boots on that water could easily soak through. "Stay here, I'll be back in a second," he yelled and with that he was sprinting towards his car.

As I waited, it seems the rain started to get harder and harder. Thunder awoken my semi-sleepless state, and the lightening brighten the dark skies. Before I knew it, Josh' Porsche Cayenne Turbo was parked in the driveway in front of the hospital. I walked towards his car and opened the passenger door, without getting a drop of rain on myself.

Once I sat in the passenger seat, I soaked the warmth of the air that was blowing heat out of the ventilation. "Thanks," I said as he started out of the parking lot and towards Easton, I was able to get a better look at his appearance. His blonde curls that usually were perfectly in place were soaked and dripping with water. His Yale sweatshirt was drenched as his jeans. "You really didn't have to do that. I could've ran with you."

He let out a soft chuckle, taking a quick glance at me. "You couldn't have ran in those shoes. You probably would've tripped and we would've gotten more wet. But you're welcome."

I smiled at him softly, and he returned it as he turned his focus back to the highway road.

There was a moment of silence that was comfortable, the tense air around seeming to vanish from our earlier conversation, before Josh decided to break it, "So, is it later yet?"

I took a deep breath, not really wanting to remember what had happened in the waiting room, even though I would be visiting that terrible reality every time I closed my eyes. "Josh," I whined out.

"Reed," he retaliated, earning an agitated glare from me. "I just want to understand, that's all," he said softer this time.

"It was nothing really. I'm just still in shock, from everything," I said, so beaten.

He nodded his head to say he understood. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really," I mumbled.

He took a deep breath, probably agitated with my behavior, but I was in no mood to speak of the world I enter when my eyes close, and darkness invades me. "Let's switch topics then. I really liked the present you got me for Christmas."

The present! I forgot about the present I made Josh for secret Santa as a Christmas present. "I'm glad to hear that. I thought you would."

"Yeah. It was a reminder of how much I missed," he took a second and glanced over in my direction before finishing his sentence, "you."

A small smile twitched on my lips before it broke out into a full one. He missed me! "I missed you to Josh," I said slowly.

He nodded before he spoke, "Just everything ended so quickly and badly. I didn't even give you time to fully explain."

"It wasn't your fault, I was drugged. I mean, how could you have known," I said softly.

"But still, when you caught me with Cheyenne, you let me explain. You took me back," he said, shaking his head. "I was a total jerk."

By now we had entered Easton and Josh was driving us towards the student parking lot. The rain hadn't let up, at all. "Yeah, but still I was upset with you. I was hurt. I understand where you were coming from. I was just mostly hurt because that was that morning I told you I loved you."

He still was shaking his head, "But you took me back Reed. You let me explain and you took me back." He had parked already and he took a deep breath than asked, "Do you want me to be truthful with you, right now?"

I nodded my head and he continued, "When I saw you, with all those different guys I was hurt. After everything had happened, I just needed to cool down. I was going to let you explain, but then I saw you with a different guy and I got pissed. It was like you didn't really care about me at all. Dash was my best friend, he was your best friends boyfriend. I couldn't get the image of you two out of my head. Whenever I closed my eyes, I saw you two and it made me angry. So I thought I would move on, Gage gave me the idea to go out with Ivy and I did."

He was going to let me explain! Stupid Find Your Rebound game that Noelle just had to let me play. "I'm sorry Josh. But I do know how you feel," I said. Because I did know how he felt. I couldn't get Josh' and Cheyenne's face out of my mind for the longest time. I thought he didn't care much either.

"Everything got so screwed up. But Reed, you have to know this, I never stopped loving you," he said so softly and pure. My heart stopped. He never stopping loving me! He still loves me!

"I never stopped loving you either Josh," I spoke with true genuine. My world was coming back. Everything was coming back! My Josh was coming back. But in that quick instant, everything went crumbling down.

"But now Ivy is in the picture. And she's hurt and shot, and I can't leave her. I just can't," he said, shaking his head.

Of course he wasn't going to leave Ivy, he was too nice of a guy to do that. Now we were in limbo. I didn't even know what to do, so I asked, "What do we do now?"

"Ivy has me, and I need you Reed," he said, then he continued, "as a friend."

Lightning stroke my body. My already shatter heart broke into more tiny fragment pieces. A friend. He needed me as a friend. Tears started to build in my eyes. He loved me as a friend. That's all we would ever be, friends. "Friends," I murmured softly to myself.

"Just right now, till we get everything fixed, Reed can you be that person that I could rely on. Please be my someone," he practically begged, but his voice was still strong. Yet I could see the tears form in his eyes. This hurt him as much as it hurt me. "Please."

I don't know how, but my head started to nod. Even though my body was still in shock. _What about me? _I thought to myself. _Who do I have?_ I finally was able to process words, "friends," I said and forced a smile.

Before I knew it, I was in Josh' tight embrace and my body froze. I couldn't do this. I couldn't touch him. I would be there for him, but there could be no physical contact. The tears started to drain from my eyes as I pulled away and a hurt expression crossed his face, "I'm sorry," I cried. "I just can't do this right now. I'm so sorry."

Then I opened his car door and ran. My shoes starting to slip off my feet so I stopped for an instant to take them off, than I carried on my sprint back to Pemberley. The rain soaking through my clothes. My hair dripping already. I was crying and running all at the same time. I couldn't hear Josh' cries for me to come back, because my cries over took my sound.

I just needed to be alone. Once I entered Pemberley and my room, I shut my door and my back slid down to the floor. I stuck my head between my knees and cried. I sobbed my eyes out. I could've been like that for another few hours, but the ring of my cell phone brought me out of my state.

I grabbed my Gucci wristlet and searched for my phone, and seeing Noelle's face flashing as she was calling me. I decided just to answer, really needing her right now.

"Hello," I answered faintly.

"Reed, I saw you running across the quad to Pemberley. I'm on my way over now. It's time to talk," she said in a panicked voice.

"Okay," was all I could voice out.

Noelle was coming over. Everything would be okay, after I cry all of my tears out. Noelle would be there for me. She would help me through this. She would be my someone. And after tonight, I would suck it up and be Josh' someone.

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_So, what do you guys think? I got the chat with Ivy, I wanted to leave it so it doesn't sound like their BFF's but are on speaking terms. And with Josh, I'm not going to tell you what's going to happen! You must keep reading! But so their isn't any confusion; Reed wasn't emotionally ready to be josh's 'friend' at the time. she just needs time to think. And Noelle will be dropping the big question, but you all will have to wait till next tuesday or wednesday! be thankful i was able to update today! anyway please review and wish me luck for this weekend, thats all i ask!_

_-Marie!_


	5. Welcome Home

_Hi everyone!  
My weekend went great; I did really good in my tournament! I thought you all would like to know!  
Also, sorry it took me awhile to update, I wasn't really that into this chapter. I don't think its that good. I'm just not that into the whole Billings thing. But I love the fashion part i put in at the end. Naming the designers and everything! You can find the bags on saks fifth avenue .com and clothes that i list on nordstroms .com !  
Anyway onto the chapter!_

_I do not own the Private Novels; Kate Brian does... _

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_I just needed to be alone. Once I entered Pemberley and my room, I shut my door and my back slid down to the floor. I stuck my head between my knees and cried. I sobbed my eyes out. I could've been like that for another few hours, but the ring of my cell phone brought me out of my state. _

_I grabbed my Gucci wristlet and searched for my phone, and seeing Noelle's face flashing as she was calling me. I decided just to answer, really needing her right now. _

_"Hello," I answered faintly. _

_"Reed, I saw you running across the quad to Pemberley. I'm on my way over now. It's time to talk," she said in a panicked voice. _

_"Okay," was all I could voice out. _

_Noelle was coming over. Everything would be okay, after I cry all of my tears out. Noelle would be there for me. She would help me through this. She would be my someone. And after tonight, I would suck it up and be Josh' someone. _

I didn't know when she arrived. It felt to me, like it was hours since we last talked on the phone. But I felt her presence when she did enter my cold, unwelcoming room. If it was any other day and if I wasn't in the predicament I was in-lying on the dusty, old wooden flooring, bawling my eyes out-I would've been embarrassed of my current living arrangements. But not today. I didn't care at all what she thought. She was the one who put me here, she had no right to judge.

Once her tiny, thin, yet muscle toned arms wrapped around my slim body, I felt at home. I cried all the tears that needed to be shed. She didn't ask a question. Didn't speak a word. Just held me. Rubbed soothing circles on my back. She was being the rock I needed.

Once time passed-not knowing how long the time I spent crying my eyes out-Noelle let go of me and helped me up so we could sit on my single bed.

"I can't believe I ever let you live here. Kudos," she joked, trying to lighten the mood. I let out a small chuckle and looked up to her and smiled.

"Thanks, I just finally cracked," I said softly. I had the mental and emotional breakdown that I knew was coming. After everything I had been through, I never had the breakdown that was needed. In the back of my head, I knew that nothing was done. Something big was brewing, I just didn't know how big and how much it would affect me.

She nodded her head in agreement and gave me a sad smile, "I was wandering how long it would take. So, what caused it. I'm guessing Hollis had something to do with the meltdown?"

"Yeah. We went to see Ivy, he had called me telling me that Ivy wanted to talk to me, so after lunch we went to the hospital. Everything was fine; well, as fine as it could be. Me and Ivy talked. We kinda teamed up together a few days ago to find Cheyenne's murderer and became somewhat friends. Anyway I just told her how sorry I was about everything, and she understood and didn't blame anything on me. We left it on a good note. But once I walked out of her room, I don't know, just something didn't feel right.

"Anyway, Josh went to see Ivy and I was sitting by myself in the waiting room. I tried to take a nap, but I just kept seeing Sabine's face. She was laughing at me and holding a gun, right towards me. I freaked. Josh came back from Ivy and saw be practically having a panic attack. I didn't tell him what happened, just made up an excuse that I was still in shock.

"So we were driving back to Easton, when he brought up about the present I made him. See I had his name for the holiday dinner. To make a long story short, I made him these paint brushes and wrote him a letter, about a day we had over thanksgiving when you weren't here.

"He said he loved it and he realized how much he missed me. He also told me that he never stopped loving me. But now Ivy's in the picture and he can't leave her, especially now. So he asked if I could be his best friend that he missed. I said 'sure' but then he hugged me and I freaked out. I said I couldn't do it right now and sorry. Then I ran."

It felt good to tell Noelle this. Throughout my explanation she nodded her head and listened like the good best friend she always was. I didn't even choke up. Not once!

She seemed to be pondering about what I just told her, then she finally looked to me and smiled, "You know what you have to do right?"

I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders, clearly confused. She rolled her eyes and gave me a mocking smile, "Glass-licker, I really don't know what you would do without me," she joked. Then turned serious, "You have to be there for him. It's obvious the boy's still in love with you, but needs you as a friend right now. So, you can show him that you can be a mature adult about the situation and be the friend he needs. Then once the whole thing with Slade blows over, you guys can get back together. That simple."

I guess I could do that. I would be the friend he needs, and try to push pass future awkward moments that we would probably share. "Okay. I could do that," I said with a true, genuine smile.

"Good. Now that we're done with Hollis, it's time to talk about your living arrangements," she said the last part looking around the small billings sized closet of a room. "I think it's obvious that I was a total bitch about the situation and I didn't even give you time to explain. So, earlier today I held an emergency Inner Circle meeting. And it's safe to proudly say, welcome back to Billings Reed. I was wrong to say that you didn't belong there, because you do."

Billings. I was back at Billings. I was a Billings Girl once again! "Seriously," I asked, bewildered.

She simply rolled her eyes, got up from my creaky, old bed and extended her hand out to mine to help me up, "Seriously. Now change out of those wet clothes, and into some jammies, I'm taking you home."

I walked over to my closet and pulled out of pair of faded pink fleece Twisted Heart pants and a plain white tank top that I think was from the Victoria Secret pink collection. I went to get my other grey Penn State sweatshirt, and put that over my tank top. I eyed my UGG boots that I was wearing earlier and saw that they weren't wet from the rain, so I decided to put those on. I walked over to Noelle and said, "Ready."

We walked out of Pemberley and into the chilling, damp night air. The rain had let up, yet the wind was howling making chills run along my spine. The sidewalks were sleek from the newly fallen rain and easy to slip on. I kept my balance by holding onto Noelle's arm and she smiled back at me.

"What time is it," I asked her, suddenly aware that no students were out, walking around even during the current weather conditions, it was an odd occurrence.

"It is," she said, eying her White Gold Rolex watch, that had come from the Oyster collection, "8:27."

"What," I said, shocked that it was that late. How long were me and Josh at the hospital? I could've sworn we left at 5:43, and arrived at Easton around 6:20. Had I been crying for a little more than 2 hours?

"When I saw you run from Hollis' car it was around 6:30," she said and shrugged her shoulders. "You were out of it for awhile."

"God," I said, shaking my head.

We approached the Billings building and I felt oddly welcomed. Even in this weather, that scared the living crap out of me, I felt finally home. Somewhat complete, but there was still a part of me that was missing. And I had a good idea what the other part was.

"Ready," Noelle asked, walking up the stairs from the sidewalk to the front door.

"Yeah," I said. Noelle nodded her head, gave me a warm smile and opened the door for me to walk through.

Once I was through the doors of Billings, all of the good, fun memories that I once experienced with my sisters came rushing back. All of the times, that I was in my old room back in the Bradwell building, looking through my window and into the window that led to Noelle Lange's room and intrigued me. Seeing the champagne parties, seeing the strong sisterhood bond that I now knew could have passed as a joke, still was intimidating to me.

Everything that I have been through with Billings, all of the added drama, I still couldn't turn it down. Pass it off as an inconvenience in my life. Some people wouldn't understand the true meaning behind Billings, if there was a true meaning at all I felt like there was. I felt like I belonged there. I was a Billings girl, and I would always be.

"Welcome back Reed!"

All of a sudden, all of my Billings sisters were present as Noelle turned on the lights in the parlor. I recognized all of my friends; Constance, Astrid, Tiffany, Rose, Portia, London, Shelby, Kiki, Vienna, Lorna and a not to happy Missy and Amberley.

"You guys! What is this," I asked, shocked.

"Well, since your back at Billings, we all thought you deserved a welcome back party," Constance said, taking a step towards me and engulfing me in a hug.

"Not all of us," I heard Missy mutter under her breath to Amberley, who was shaking with a chuckle.

"Missy, Amberley, both of you shut up. If you can't be happy that Reed's back, then take it elsewhere. Don't. Ruin. It," Noelle said through her teeth, glaring at the two culprits.

Missy just huffed her large nostrils, flicked her very fake blonde hair and trudged up the stairs, with Lorna following, though she gave me an apologetic smile. Amberley stood in the same spot, bewildered that Noelle would speak to her in a way.

"Noelle...," Amberley whined.

"Make a choice," Noelle warned.

"Fine," Amberley huffed and walked over to me and said, glaring at me, "Welcome back Reed." She then marched up the stairs, following in Missy's tracks.

"Now that's over with, please Portia, the champagne," Noelle said, smiling.

Portia went over to the counter and started pouring the champagne in eleven champagne flutes. We all followed to pick our glass, then started to mingle freely within each other.

Tiffany approached me while I turned away from the counter, "I'm sorry Reed by the way I acted towards you. I was a total bitch. Please forgive me?"

"Of course," I said and she wrapped her tan arms around my body's frame.

The night went like that, my friends all came up to me and apologized and I forgave them at the second. I got caught up with all the gossip that had been swirling, as in Rose's new boy toy and how Kiran's party actually went. Noelle told me that we would give Kiran a call tomorrow so we could get together sometime in New York and catch up.

After a few hours of just having fun, I quickly got tired and my eyes were slowly dropping. Noelle noticed and she covered for me, "Guys, I think Reed's had a long day. Maybe it's time to call it a night."

The girls were hesitant at first, still wanting to stay up and talk about all that has been missed by me, by they soon quickly agreed and I had to promise each of them that we would get out private time to truly catch up.

Noelle left the girls down in the parlor to clean up and she grabbed my hand, making me follow her up the stairs. I was confused to where I was going to stay since all of my things were back at my old Pemberley room. I realized that I was following her to her room and when she opened her door I was quickly shocked.

There were two of everything. Two queen sized beds, two drawers, two desks, two chairs, two closets filled with clothes. It seemed that somebody had already been living in the other half of the room. But of course, the other half was spotless and Noelle's half was somewhat messy.

Noelle must have noticed the confused look on my face because she added, "I had it all put in today. I had already made a decision to bring you back into Billing's after you had made the speech at the Holiday Dinner, so I was just waiting for the furniture to arrive. I was going to tell you about it last night but with everything that had happened...," she trailed off.

"Anyway, your sharing a room with me! I figured you wouldn't want to stay in your old room, so I made sure to get everything for you here. It's the least I could do with everything, just think of it as a 'thanks for forgiving me' present," she laughed.

Before I even knew what I was doing, I engulfed Noelle into a hug. I had already been welcomed back into Billings! My speech worked! I was so happy that Noelle didn't invite me back into Billing's because of pity. She actually meant it!

After the few short moments of the hug, Noelle pulled away and laughed, "Okay glass-licker, I'm trying to be as nice as I can so don't push it. But I'm glad you like it."

"Like it! I love it! It means so much to me Noelle, thanks so much," I gushed and gleamed with a huge grin on my face.

"Okay, well take a look at your closet. If you think the furniture is nice, you haven't seen anything yet," she winked. I gave her a puzzled look, then went over to the closet.

I opened the walk in closets door and was suddenly amazed. Clothes were filled, hung by wooden hangers. Dresses, tank tops, short sleeves, long sleeves, sweaters, jackets and coats, skirts, and pants. Shoes were lined along shoe racks, all different colors. Heels, ballet flats, trendy sneakers, ankle boots and knee high boots and sandals.

Three purses that I recognized right away were on a shelve. A new Black Burberry leather tote that was encrusted with different jewels and gems, I had recently seen it in a Teen Vogue magazine being worn by Blake Lively. I remember seeing that it cost a little over $2,000.00! The purse next to it, was a Black Denim Louis Vuitton tote, that I had been eying a few months ago while looking threw the Holiday Catalogue with Noelle. I couldn't believe she actually remembered! This purse cost around the same price as the other. Then the purse next to it was a Brown Leather messenger bag by Prada. It was big enough to hold all of my books for school. I had never seen it before, but figured that it was probably more expensive than the other two bags.

You would think that with everything Noelle had gotten me, that would be it. Wrong. There were a pair of Ray Ban Aviator Sunglasses that I were already in love with, placed on a shelf. Two jewelry boxes were lined on another shelf, probably filled with expensive jewelry.

Throughout the examination my jaw had dropped, it was that amazing. I felt Noelle's warm hand, placed on my shoulder as she said, "Also I figured you could use a new wardrobe. It wasn't that much also, the designers were practically throwing the clothes, shoes and purses at me. But I'm thinking about getting another Prada bag like that for myself, I just can't get it out of my head. I'm going to have to get them to send another one to me," she started to ramble to I soon stopped her.

"Noelle. This is all too much, you really didn't have to do this for me," I said, still bewildered.

"Oh yes I did. Plus think of it as a repayment since Amberley took the Billings money that they gave you, also an early Christmas present. I'm glad you like it though," she said, happy that she did a good deed.

"Like it! I love it again! Thank you so much," I said, filled with happiness and joy. A feeling that I hadn't felt in so a while.

"Well, you're welcome. Now you can play dress up tomorrow, it's late and I'm exhausted. By the bags under your eyes you look exhausted to, so let's get to sleep now," she said and I followed her out of the closet.

She already had on her silk pajamas, so she slipped into her bed. I did the same and was refreshed with Egyptian cotton gold sheets that made all my troubles put at a standstill. The full comforter was as soft as my sheep skin UGG boots, and that's saying something.

Before I drifted off into my own personal hell where I knew I would be met by Sabine's mocking picture, I said, "Goodnight Noelle. And thanks for everything."

"Night Reed and welcome home."

* * *

_So...how was it? I personally don't think it's that good, that's me though! And tell me if it's not good to! I LOVE criticism and if you've got something harsh to say, SAY IT! I love it! It makes me want to improve my writing even more! But thanks for the reviews i've been getting. Keep them coming! Please! I'll try to update again this weekend...please review, that's all i ask!_

_-Marie!!!_


	6. Under The Gutter

_Hey everyone!  
Here's a new chapter, mostly a filler. Hope you enjoy!_

_I do not own the Private Novels; Kate Brian does... _

* * *

"_Like it! I love it again! Thank you so much," I said, filled with happiness and joy. A feeling that I hadn't felt in so a while._

"_Well, you're welcome. Now you can play dress up tomorrow, it's late and I'm exhausted. By the bags under your eyes you look exhausted to, so let's get to sleep now," she said and I followed her out of the closet._

_She already had on her silk pajamas, so she slipped into her bed. I did the same and was refreshed with Egyptian cotton gold sheets that made all my troubles put at a standstill. The full comforter was as soft as my sheep skin UGG boots, and that's saying something. _

_Before I drifted off into my own personal hell where I knew I would be met by Sabine's mocking picture, I said, "Goodnight Noelle. And thanks for everything."_

"_Night Reed and welcome home."_

I didn't sleep that night. Once my eyes shut I saw her face, ridiculing me that she won. She did. Her and Arianna, because now I have to see their faces every time I close my eyes. I didn't say anything to Noelle. I didn't want her to worry about me. She's done plenty of enough already.

I just laid in bed, thinking of my day. How it started off so horribly from the tragic events of last night, to how it ended greatly with me being accepted back into Billings. Who would figure?

Tomorrow morning I was going to have a talk with Josh, or whenever he would want to talk to me again. He probably thinks I'm a crazy psycho, with major mood swings. You can thank Sabine for that. But I was going to be there for him. Even if I couldn't be physically there for him, emotionally is better than nothing.

But what scares me the most is, where do we go when everything goes back to normal? Will he just leave me again and go back to Ivy. I don't want Ivy to get hurt, she already has been through enough because of me. If I felt guilty now, I would feel a hundred times more guilty then. I would just have to leave Josh to Ivy for now. If me and Josh were meant for each other, than everything will work into place. As Noelle and Dash said, after everything that happened with Cheyenne; everything happens for a reason.

I didn't even bother to try to sleep, I knew I would wake up from a nightmare and probably scream, I don't want to bother Noelle. That night I inspected every part of my new shared Billings room, from my bed. I was getting comfortable with it and it slowly started to seem like home. After what felt like three days, I checked the clock to see that it was 4:57 in the morning. I guess you kill time when you getter a better feel of a new bedroom.

I decided to walk back to my Pemberley room, even though it was early, I could get a head start on the packing. I slowly and quietly crept out of my sheets, and tiptoed my way towards the door, leading towards the hallway. I opened the door cautiously, not wanting to disturb Noelle's beauty sleep, and prayed to god that the door wouldn't squeak.

The big man was looking out for me today, because the door opened with ease and I made my way down the rickety old stairs, through the parlor and out the front door, where I chilling wind enveloped me. It was an eerie silence that was surrounded around the campus.

I took a deep breath and started to make my way towards Pemberley. Most students were sleeping, so no one was out at this time in the morning. Or so I thought. That was when I heard my name being called out, "Reed? Is that you?" It was a female's voice. Deep British. Astrid.

I whirled my body around to see Astrid in a jogging suit and accompanied by Trey also in a jogging suit, her 'boyfriend that no one knows about'. "Astrid, Trey? What are you guys doing up so early? In jogging suits?"

I was clearly confused and they both could tell. Astrid let out a chuckle and said, "Oh well, since our relationship is under the gutter, as you know, and us being the early risers that we are, try to spend as much together as possible. So we go run," she explained. I had to laugh at her British expression, 'under the gutter'.

"Gotcha," I said, but Trey looked uneasy.

"How does she know," he mumbled to Astrid.

"Oh well, we were in the hallway one day, with Josh, and I had a slip up. She promised not to tell, right Reed," Astrid questioned.

I nodded my head and gave them a big smile, "You're secret is safe with me."

Astrid smiled back, but Trey was somewhat confused, "Reed? Why are you up so early?"

Crap. I needed an excuse, and quick. "Oh, well you see now I'm back at Billings I thought I would get a head start on moving. It'll be easier that way."

"Astrid told me your back there. Well, me and Gage will come by after breakfast to help you move," Trey offered.

"Thanks, that would help me a lot," I thanked him.

"No problem."

"Well, thanks again. I'll see you then," I waved them off, but then suddenly remembered something.

"Hey, Trey?"

He turned around and answered me, "Yeah?"

I took a deep breath and asked, "How is Josh doing?"

He didn't seem shocked at all about my question, but the air around us tensed somewhat, even from our distance. "He's doing okay. You should go see him later," Trey said.

"I think I will. Do you know when he's going to see Ivy again?"

Just like that, the tense air had turned to hard needles. As soon as I said her name, something changed in his appearance. Astrid whirled around, and tried to hide the full on glare she was giving her boyfriend. Strange.

"Why do you want to know that," he asked, confused and his voice was full of apprehension. But why? I know I didn't like Ivy at first, but haven't they heard that we were on speaking terms now?

"So I can talk to him before he leaves. I know he probably wants to spend time with her. I feel bad on butting in on their time yesterday afternoon," I said, sheepishly. It was true. I did feel bad. Just another load of guilt thrown on my already hunched back. If I have this much stress at my young age, I'll be getting a hernia.

The hidden glare that Astrid was sending Trey, could be easily seen by now. Something was up, I just didn't know what. "Don't feel bad," Trey spoke quickly, too quickly. "He'll probably go again after lunch. Catch him before lunch. Actually I'll tell him to help you move."

"No," I practically yelled. Astrid turned from her glare on Trey and joined him on shooting me a confused look. "I mean, I want to talk to him In private, it's important."

They both nodded, seeming to understand but I didn't buy it. "Reed," Astrid spoke. "We will bring Josh to talk, how about that?"

"Sure," I said and exhaled a deep breath.

"Good, we will see you then," Trey said. We said our goodbyes and they were off to go on their run.

I started my walk again, towards Pemberley and felt very confused. Why was Astrid glaring at Trey, once I spoke of Ivy? Did something happen that I didn't know about? Did something happen between Astrid and Ivy? Astrid would always go to Trey's room, since they couldn't be public because Astrid thought people would find it strange to be dating your dead best friend's ex-boyfriend. And Trey roomed with Josh.

Something happened that I didn't know about. What if it had to do with me? What if Astrid hated Ivy, because she was now with Josh and practically was all over him. Astrid was always a good friend to me and Billings girls always stick together. In the hallway that day, when I questioned Josh as to why Astrid got kick out of her old school, Baylor, Astrid had overheard and joined in on our conversation. Once Josh left she said, "you crazy kids should really get back together".

Astrid must have hated Ivy. That's just another reason Ivy hated me. Yes I was jealous of her with my ex. But she has to deal with a lot, and I'm just making things worse. I don't even deserve the forgiveness she has given me. It truly is time to let her have Josh right now. She deserves him.

But something in the back of my mind was nagging me. As in Astrid's words, I was truly under the gutter about something. And I needed to find out what that something is soon.

* * *

_So...what do you think? Added a new thing with Ivy. Now, if you are going to review, I want you to guess what Ivy did. It is something huge! Practically life changing for reed! Anyway, you'll have about five chapters of reviews to guess. If you guess right I will tell you, PRIVATELY! If you guess wrong, I'll tell you if your close or not. I'll try to update maybe tomorrow, I don't know...Anyway, please review, that's all I ask. _

_-Marie!!!_


	7. Life Isn't A Cinderalla Story

_Hey everyone!  
Thought I would update early today! Here's the new chapter, hope you enjoy..._

_I do not own the Private Novels; Kate Brian does... _

* * *

_I started my walk again, towards Pemberley and felt very confused. Why was Astrid glaring at Trey, once I spoke of Ivy? Did something happen that I didn't know about? Did something happen between Astrid and Ivy? Astrid would always go to Trey's room, since they couldn't be public because Astrid thought people would find it strange to be dating your dead best friend's ex-boyfriend. And Trey roomed with Josh. _

_Something happened that I didn't know about. What if it had to do with me? What if Astrid hated Ivy, because she was now with Josh and practically was all over him. Astrid was always a good friend to me and Billings girls always stick together. In the hallway that day, when I questioned Josh as to why Astrid got kick out of her old school, Baylor, Astrid had overheard and joined in on our conversation. Once Josh left she said, "you crazy kids should really get back together". _

_Astrid must have hated Ivy. That's just another reason Ivy hated me. Yes I was jealous of her with my ex. But she has to deal with a lot, and I'm just making things worse. I don't even deserve the forgiveness she has given me. It truly is time to let her have Josh right now. She deserves him. _

_But something in the back of my mind was nagging me. As in Astrid's words, I was truly under the gutter about something. And I needed to find out what that something is soon. _

I was paranoid. That easy. For the rest of my short, three minute walk back to the hell hole I once I called 'home', I was paranoid. The swiftest movements of the branches, that were held onto the oaks would freak me out, and make me skittish.

Why couldn't life be easy? As in Cinderella, once she fits her small, fragile foot into the glass slipper everything is perfect. You would think because the murderer(s) have been found, everything would go back to normal for me. Sabine confessed that she drugged me and Dash. Why can't Josh just easily be mine again? And, why can't Ivy just be erased from the picture magically. Yeah, I like the girl and everything that has happen to her is all my fault, but give me a break!

Why? Simple. Because life isn't a Cinderella story and fifty percent of the time, you don't get your happy ending. Once a problem has been solved in my life, triple amount of problems come at me. It's like a domino effect, once one goes down, they all go down, until their all down, they keeping going.

I just had to wait till all my problems would be up. I had to solve the new problem at hand. Why did Astrid hate Ivy? I'm speculating this theory, maybe Ivy had hooked up with Trey a while ago. A one night fling. Astrid could have possibly found out and hate Ivy.

But I should know, the deeper you dig, the deeper the lies get. For now I just needed to put whatever was going on that I didn't know about away for the time being, and focus on the tasks at hand. Billings. And a talk with Josh.

I still was paranoid as I entered my old dorm room. I took a look around and compared it to my new Billings room that I now shared with Noelle. It was easy, there was no comparison. My new closet at Billings is a hundred percent nicer than this piece of crap that I was trying to live in. I would have rather slept in the closet than this place.

I shook my head, to stop my train of thoughts and get to work. I decided to take a shower first so I grabbed my bag of necessities, a White Plain tank top to go under my Ralph Lauren Navy Blue Cashmere Sweater and Dark Wash Straight Leg jeans from Citizens of humanity, including underwear and walked towards the bathroom. I went through my bag and found my shampoo and conditioner, body wash and razor blade. After taking a shower, and washing my hair, I got dressed. I towel dried my hair and decided that I would just let it dry naturally today. I went to brush my teeth and put light makeup on, not much.

I walked out of the bathroom about thirty minutes later, and went to start the dirty deed of packing my room. I checked the clock and saw that is was 6:30 A.M. With a deep breath, I plunged into my old crammed closet and brought out my suitcase. I started to fold up all of my clothes first, then followed it by my shoes which didn't take long.

By the time all of my clothes and shoes were put away, I had about four suitcases full. It was almost eight and I pondered whether or not I wanted to go to breakfast. I decided not to, and just to finish up packing. I went to get my other suitcase in my closet, when I found a picture of me and Sabine.

My breath hitched and my heart stopped. I recognized the picture immediately. It was when we went to New York, to look at places that we could hold our Billings Fundraiser at. We were right in front of Barney's clothing store, Constance just had to go there. Me and Sabine looked so happy. She really did full me.

Tears slowly started to escape my eyes and I started to breath faster. How could she? How could she be Arianna's sister? I took a seat on my made bed, the picture still in my hand. She was such a great friend. I looked around my room when I remembered the day her and Constance came over, a few days after I moved into the horrid place. They brought over some decorations, to make it feel more homey.

I looked towards the rug that Sabine had brought over. The one that she spilled the bead's all over, just like Cheyenne had done when Noelle and the others put me through their hazing rituals, and I had to clean everyone's room. Cheyenne didn't like me much then. Sabine probably got me that rug just for that reason.

All along I thought she was the one I could trust. She was a better friend than even Constance. I had confided the secret I was holding about my stalker and how I thought Ivy was the killer. But it happen that through her worried façade, she was laughing and enjoying my pain and confusion. Psycho bitch. Just like her sister.

With a deep breath to calm myself, I said, "Goodbye Sabine. You really were a great friend." And with that I ripped the picture in two, followed by four, eight, ext.. pieces. The torn picture that laid in my hands was a resembling of how many times my heart has been broken the past two years. The last of my tears leaked out of my eyes and walked over to my trash can and emptied the pieces.

I let out another deep breath and went to get a tissue off of my dresser. I quickly dried my tears and blew my nose lightly, not wanting anyone to notice my small breakdown. I threw away the tissue and started to pack again.

I was almost finished when there was a knock on my door. I checked the clock quickly, seeing it was almost nine. I walked over to the door and opened it, revealing Noelle, sporting a crème Lacoste cashmere sweater, dark wash skinny jeans, somewhat like mine and brown ankle boots. "Hey," she said as she entered my room.

"Hey. How was breakfast? I decided to skip it to finish packing."

"Yeah about that. Thanks for telling me that you were coming back here. I've been trying to call you ever since I woke up. Luckily Astrid said she saw you earlier when she went on her early run-the girl is crazy-and told me where you were." I looked towards her, away from my suitcase and saw that she was sitting on my bed, and held a worried look on her face. "Are you okay?"

I let out a light chuckle then said, "Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry though, I was just so busy packing that I didn't even realize. I really am sorry."

She smiled at me, and easily forgave me, "It's okay. Just don't do it again." She laughed and gave me a joking icy glare, there's the Noelle I loved and missed. "Anyway, the Crom is holding a emergency meeting in the Chapel. So we can finish this later."

"Oh, okay," I said and set down a perfume bottle that I was holding to put it away in my suitcase. I took a quick look around the room and it was mostly empty. I probably only had about twenty more minutes left of packing, then I should be done.

I went to get my Silver Steve Madden flats, that had a small bow on the front of them. I slipped them on and went to get my phone. I heard Noelle clear her throat near my doorway and saw her tapping her foot up and down. I rolled my eyes and said, "Don't get your panty's in a bunch, I'm coming."

As I passed her I gave her an icy glare for acting the way she did, and she seemed somewhat shocked. "You've come a far way glass-licker. I trained you well," she said and I just rolled my eyes while shaking my head.

We walked through the doors of Pemberely and I was happy to see that it was a partly sunny day out, yet freezing cold. We made our way through the quad, students giving me questionable looks and whispering god knows what to their friends. I let out a dramatic breath and rolled my eyes again. Stupid rich, teen, gossip snobs, I shouted in my head.

Noelle laughed and said, "You really are becoming like me." I gave her a confused look and scrunched my eyebrows together and she added, "Stupid rich, teen, gossip snobs. I'm going to try and not take that as an insult."

I mentally scolded myself, "I can't believe I said that out loud," I whispered. Noelle just started to laugh harder and I gave her another icy glare and she quickly stopped. Wow. Since when did I have this much power over Noelle?

My own conversation in my head was put to a stop when we entered the Chapel. "I'll meet you outside after," Noelle said and took her seat in the Senior section. I nodded my head at her and went to my sit in the Junior student section.

Constance and Astrid had saved a spot for me in between them and I quickly said thank you. I felt all eyes on me, and students all around whispering. I didn't realize that me and Noelle were the last ones to arrive until now. I turned my head to the right and saw Josh staring at me intently. My breath hitched and I quickly turned my head back to the front where the Crom was about to speak.

"Thank you students for coming. This is an emergency meeting. As many of you know, miss Ivy Slade is currently in the hospital, withstanding injuries from a Miss Sabine DuLak, who has been recently expelled. To let some who don't know exactly what has happened I will inform you on the recent Revelation. Two nights ago, at Miss Noelle Lange's and Amberley Carmichaels party, there was confrontation between Miss Reed Brennan and Sabine DuLak. Miss DuLak was holding a rifle gun on her, and during the confrontation had shot it off. The bullet hit Miss Slade.

"Now I'm not much for the gossip mills here at Easton, but I have recently been informed of some serious tribulations here at Easton. As many of you remember, we lost a student here just a few months ago Cheyenne Martin, and we have found that through Miss DuLak's confrontation that she was the one who pushed Miss Martin, into taking a substantial amount of sleeping pills, that lead her to her death.

"We have also been notified that Miss DuLak is related to Arianna Osgood. Many of you must remember what had happened here last year. I was currently not the Headmaster here at the school, so I do not know much of what exactly went on here last year, and I personally don't want to. The only thing I know of Miss Osgood, is that she murdered another student here at Easton, a Thomas Pearson.

"As I told you at the beginning of the year, I will not stand for any delinquent predicaments and I stand by my statement. I don't know exactly what has been going on at this Academy, but I will tell you now that it will never happen again. I was informed that Miss Brennan and Miss Slade had been stalked by Miss DuLak." His voice was hard as he spoke and turned his head towards me as my eyes widened.

"I am sorry Miss Brennan for what you have been through, but if you would have come to me earlier with all of this information, this could have been easily avoidable," he spoke towards me. He was right. We could all have avoided this. I could feel the intense stairs from my fellow students, all ready starting rumors that it was all my fault. He sent his attention back towards all the students.

"Yet the past in the past, and now we can only move on from this terrible tragedy. I want all of you to listen as I say this, if there is any unnecessary or out of the ordinary problems going on here at the Academy, I want you to come to me immediately. As long as I am this school, I will make it my personal goal to make you students safe again and not let any more tragedies enter this academy.

"This is Easton Academy students, not a soap drama show. So I would like all student's to take a break from teenage drama and focus on mid terms, for the rest of the week and a half that you have here at the school. When next semester comes, this will be a different school. It will once again be Easton Academy. That will be all for today, you may leave and go back to whatever it was you were doing before."

The Headmaster nodded his head once and walked to the back of the chapel. As the students in the front row started to get up and exit the chapel at an accordingly manner, I sat frozen like a statue, staring straight ahead of me.

If only I would have told someone about the person who was stalking me, or that someone was stalking me. If only I would have went to the police first once I realized that Sabine knew Arianna and could hold some vendetta towards me. Ivy could be safe and no harm done to her. My guilt would be gone. Everything would be easier. But life isn't a Cinderella story, I needed to get that through my head.

Astrid shifted her body towards me, as she was on the left of me and asked, "Reed, are you okay? You look somewhat flushed?"

I had to shake my head, to get myself out of the trance I was in. Once Astrid asked what she had asked, the students that overheard as they walked by, started whispering to their friends. I took a deep breath and exhaled, "I'm fine," I lied, "I just want to get out of here."

She nodded her head and said, "We're next up to leave, don't worry Reed. If you need to talk I'm here for you." She gave me a warm smile and soothed me as she softly rubbed my arm.

I smiled back to her as Constance risen from her seat next to me and I followed. We very slowly made our way out of the bench seats and onto the narrow strip that lead to the front doors. I bent my head down so I didn't have to see the rude and unnecessary comments and gossiping that the students were saying about me.

My head started to get heavy and all of a sudden I rammed into Constance's back by accident. I picked my head up so fast I could've gotten whiplash and said, "sorry" to Constance. She turned her head and gave me a smile, which I returned but I knew came out fake.

I looked to my right to see all eyes on me and rolled my eyes. I caught Noelle's face and she smiled, I returned it, and again mine was fake. I turned to my left to once again see all eyes on me, and a piercing blue eyes that I would never forget. Josh was staring at me, and had a worried look on his face as he met my gaze. I didn't know how long we were staring at each other, seconds, minutes or even hours it didn't matter. Everything that had happened and was happening all around me, vanished.

Me and him were the only ones left in this chapel. Me and him. All of my troubles drifted away and I felt whole again. That was when I truly realized that I loved him. Even if he wanted to be friends, I loved him. But all too soon, reality came crushing back in as Astrid gave me a slight nudge to move along and follow Constance, who was already a few yards away from me. A blush crept onto my cheeks and I caught to catch up with her.

As we exited the chapel, I felt somewhat better. Astrid told me that she would wait for Trey, since he was going to help me move my things back to Billings. I went to sit on a lonely bench near the chapel so I could wait for them and Noelle.

There was a slight breeze that blew my soft wavy hair around my face. I could faintly smell the honey peered and silk that scented off of my shampoo. I closed my eyes taking in this wonderful moment. I took a deep, yoga breath and exaggerated the exhale of breath.

I heard someone clear their throat and say, "Umm, Reed? I was wandering if we could talk?" The voice was all too familiar to me. I didn't even need to open my eyes to see who it was, but I felt safer when I looked in those blue eyes.

"I think we need to," I said softly. I patted the space next to me on the bench, and slowly scooted over so there was enough room for him to sit. I tried to give him a warm smile, which he saw through as fake and gave me a sad one.

'_Please_' I prayed in my head. '_Just let me have this one Cinderella story moment_'. But as I set my eyes to Josh, who turned his body towards me, I knew I would never get it, not until I got him.

* * *

_So...what do you think? Thanks for all the reviews and guesses to the Ivy thing. Now no one has been EXACTLY right. Someone though has been VERY CLOSE! And you know who you are! By close I mean, just missing one small detail...Please keep guessing and reviewing, I love the guesses i think it's fun! Anyway, I'll try to update soon. Oh and for all the Pittsburgh Steelers fans out there; GO STEELERS GO! Their going to tampa! Welcome to the sunshine state! Anyway, please read, review and guess; that's all I ask!_

_-Marie_


	8. We're Just Friends!

_Hi everyone!  
Sorry I haven't updated lately. I had another tennis tournament last weekend and with school (I'm reading Beowulf for World Lit., and it took up a lot of time) and just life this week I had no time! But, did you guys read the summary to Paradise Lost? I was planning on bringing back Taylor and Kiran, so I'm glad I got that right!  
Anyway, I hope you like the chapter!_

_I do not own the Private Series; Kate Brian does... _

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_There was a slight breeze that blew my soft wavy hair around my face. I could faintly smell the honey peered and silk that scented off of my shampoo. I closed my eyes taking in this wonderful moment. I took a deep, yoga breath and exaggerated the exhale of it._

_I heard someone clear their throat and say, "Umm, Reed? I was wandering if we could talk?" The voice was all too familiar to me. I didn't even need to open my eyes to see who it was, but I felt safer when I looked in those blue eyes. _

_"I think we need to," I said softly. I patted the space next to me on the bench, and slowly scooted over so there was enough room for him to sit. I tried to give him a warm smile, which he saw through as fake and gave me a sad one. _

_'Please' I prayed in my head. 'Just let me have this one Cinderella story moment' But as I set my eyes to Josh, who turned his body towards me, I knew I would never get it, until I got him. _

I had no clue as to where to start. How do you tell the love of your life, that everything will be okay, as long as we're friends? That you could be there for him emotionally, yet not physically? Watch him kiss another women, while you're on the sidelines holding in your tears? That question I could answer. You can't.

I had to watch him with Ivy Slade, for one and half months as my life slowly dwindled away. Through the hardest moments, losing Noelle my best friend, losing Billings my home, and losing the respect of every student here at this screwed up school, that I dreamt of coming to.

We were just sitting there, on the bench near an old oak tree that gave off a smell of home and a small amount of shade. The wind blowing through my hair, sprawling out when the gust was gone, around my face. He's warm, blue/green eyes melted my heart. His soft blonde curls blowing as with my hair.

The strong silence around us was tense, yet comforting. He kept looking at me, letting me be the one to start. I still was at a loss for words, and was deeply confused on what to say. I could feel a headache coming on, from all the stress that had been planted onto me the pass two days.

I turned to look at my lap, where I started to play with my hands. Somehow I mustered enough bravery to start to speak, yet my voice was quiet and soft, "I'm sorry for how I acted yesterday. I just wasn't ready yet, I guess, to be friends that quickly. I'm really sorry."

I looked up from my lap to his face, but he was looking into the quad away from me, slowly nodding his head. He took a deep breath that I could hear easily and said, "I understand. It's partly my fault, I shouldn't have thrown that much on you so quickly. I just needed," he stopped mid sentence and looked down to his lap, as he added, "Never mind."

He shook his head as if he was having a conversation with in himself, and suddenly I wanted to know what he was going to say. What he needed. "What we're you going to say?" I asked, slowly.

"Nothing, it's not important," he said, but I knew that the tone in his voice that he was using, that he was lying. I knew him to well.

"You're lying. Josh, I don't judge. Please, tell me what you were going to say," I pleaded with him. He looked towards me, pain edged along the irises in his eyes.

He took another deep breath and spoke clearly, full of confidence, "Throughout everything that happened, I needed you the whole time. I missed having you around, because you always were so sure of yourself. And last night, I knew if I didn't tell you what I wanted, that you wouldn't be there, when I needed you again. I was selfish, but I was just afraid to lose you again. My grandma always told me that if you see something that you want, don't wait to get it, go after it, because it might not be there when you look for it next."

I was at a loss for words. He needed me! He wanted me to be with him throughout everything. He was afraid of losing me again. Yes, he was somewhat selfish, but who isn't? I know I was selfish throughout the end of our relationship, and he deserves a time to be selfish. I now knew, that even if we weren't going to be boyfriend or girlfriend right now, I would have him as a friend. He needed me as a friend. And I would be able to be his friend.

I looked over to him and his confidence was gone and was replaced by worry. I smiled brightly, the first real smile I have had for a while and said simply, "Okay."

He of course smiled back, but had a skeptical look on his face, and asked, "Okay? What do you mean?"

I let out a light laugh, that felt so good and added, "Last night, I was just in shock from everything. So, you kinda picked a bad time to tell me what you wanted. But, I'm sorry for the way I handled it and I know it must have hurt you. But I'm okay now, and I want you to know that whenever you need me I'm here for you," I said confidently, and finished, "You won't lose me. I'll always be here for me when you look."

His worried expression was gone in a flash and was added with a huge grin that I matched. "Thanks, you have no idea how happy I am right now," he said, sweetly.

I laughed and said, "I know, I'm to match."

After a few moments of just laughing about nothing random, I took a deep breath and stuck my hand out and asked, "Friends?"

He looked at my hand and sadness quickly filled his eyes. Was he expecting more? Did he not want to touch me? Because, I knew I couldn't touch him. It would be way to awkward, and I wasn't ready for that.

He tried to cover up the sadness and put a smile on his face, but I read through it, without saying anything. As he stuck his hand out and shook mine, I felt an electric current rush through, with just a simple touch of his hand. I felt home.

"Yeah, friends," he said skeptically, looking down at our hands. He felt it too. I quickly pulled mine away, and just smiled at him. I didn't need another reason for Ivy to be mad at me, even though she wasn't, she very well should be.

Josh quickly shook his head and looked up to me and smiled, "Come on, I hear someone is moving back to Billings."

My smile grew, then it faded away, remembering all of the fights we had, do to Billings. "You're probably not that happy about that," I sighed.

"Reed, I really don't care about that right now. I just want to see you happy again, don't worry about me. I'm happy that you've got your life back," he smiled. My heart fluttered knowing that my life is almost back to normal, and that Josh was back.

I gave him a huge grin and said as we walked towards Noelle, Trey and Astrid, who were all talking within each other, "Thanks. So, let's get this over with. I'm almost done with the boxing, just a few more things left, but I really could use some strength."

He chuckled lightly and rubbed his bicep that was athletically muscular from him playing baseball and soccer. "I think I have all the strength you need," he said, and smiled towards me.

Once we reached our group of friends, Trey and Astrid held proud smiles on their faces, knowing they did well and Noelle eyed us suspiciously, than a mischievous grin swept her lips and said, "Well look here. Hollis and Brennan, the couple of last year, finally reunited. I'm glad you guys finally kissed and made up."

I glared at her because of her last comment, and I felt Josh stiffen besides me. Astrid and Trey's eyes widen, surprised at Noelle's sudden out of place comment. "Noelle, that's not how it is. We're just friends," I said through clenched teeth.

She rolled her eyes dramatically and announced, "All in time." Josh slowly relaxed and so did Trey and Astrid. But I heard Noelle mutter under her breath, "once Slade is gone." I glared at her once more and she just smirked back. "So enough of this tension, let's get the manual labor over with all ready. I'm going to be in Billing's getting things ready if you need me."

And with that last comment, Noelle was off on her own way towards Billings. I had a sigh of relief, knowing that no more unnecessary comments were to come at the moment, and flicked my eyes towards Josh who was staring at me, "Sorry about that. You know how she is."

He nodded his head and smiled warmly at me. I turned my attention to Trey and Astrid and said, "Okay, so Trey could you help me and Josh move the boxes? And Astrid, could you help me put everything away back at Billings?"

They both nodded their heads in agreement and Astrid said a quick farewell, she was going to help join Noelle back at Billings for the time being, while Trey, Josh and I moved the boxes.

We started our way across the quad and into the Pemberley building. Once we reached my old, wooden doorway, we were welcomed by Gage leaning casually against it. I was suddenly confused as to why he would be here so I asked, "Gage, what are you doing here?"

I could feel the air tense once Gage's eyes fell upon me, Josh and Trey. Josh and Trey both stiffen while Gage covered his emotions with a smirk, "Well Brennan, Trey asked me earlier today to help you move, so here I am. But obviously you have Hollis' help now," he said, as he eyed Josh.

"Why would you do that?" I heard Josh mutter under his breath to Trey, probably hoping no one would hear. Gage obviously heard Josh' comment because he started to shake his head and let out a dark chuckle. "Gage, why don't you get out of here, we don't need your help anymore," Trey spat towards Gage.

I was entirely confused now. Josh, Gage and Trey use to be great friends. Best friends. What the hell happened? "Touchy, touchy. I can see when I'm not welcomed, thanks," Gage said as he started passed us.

"What's going on?" I asked, blankly puzzled as to what happened. Gage turned around to face me and said, "Geez Brennan. I thought you were smarter than that, since you did figure out who knocked off Cheyenne. But, I guess I'm wrong. Ivy obviously did most of the work. The Crom was right, you are stupid."

I wasn't shocked at his comment, typical Gage. It didn't faze me at all. Actually, I expected someone to finally say something to my face and not hide their true feelings. "Don't talk about her like that," Josh spoke darkly. He glared at Gage, his eyes were lethal.

Gage just let out a dark laugh and asked, "Which girl?"

Josh suddenly dropped his intimidating composure and looked beaten. What did I miss? After a few moments of silence, Gage laughed again and shook his head as he said, "That's what I thought."

Gage started down the hall again, but then abruptly stopped without turning his back he said, "Oh and by the way, congrats to the most screwed up couple of Easton, it's nice to see everything worked out."

"We're just friends," I yelled at him, and he let out another laugh as he walked away and said, "I wasn't talking about you Brennan," and with that, he was gone.

* * *

_So....what do you think? I thought it was an okay chapter, not my best. But....I really want some more reviews! That's another reason why I haven't updated, without getting the reviews, the story slips my mind and I forget about it. So, I'm not updating again until I get 15 more reviews! So please, review! And also, this chapter should give you some more info on the 'Ivy Thing' (go back to the authors note on Chapter 5) I have planned. Please keep guessing, I love it! Anyway, please read and give me 15 reviews, that's all I ask! _

_-Marie_


	9. Lying, Backstabbing Bitch Always Thought

_Hey my wonderful readers and reviewers, who all contributed to all of my reviews!  
I got my 15+ reviews! So happy!  
I wanted to update quicker but with school, sports and life I had no time!  
Plus the super bowl was sunday; go STEELERS! I love Santonio Holmes from Glades Central!!_

_Anyway, I think you will like this chapter!  
It's very, revealing! Just read, and you will see!  
Hope you enjoy!_

_I do not own the Private Series; Kate Brian does..._

_Also, a special thanks to technofever for your wonderful reviews and the suggestion for the plot of this chapter! Thanks again! _

* * *

_I wasn't shocked at his comment, typical Gage. It didn't faze me at all. Actually, I expected someone to finally say something to my face and not hide their true feelings. "Don't talk about her like that," Josh spoke darkly. He glared at Gage, his eyes were lethal. _

_Gage just let out a dark laugh and asked, "Which girl?" _

_Josh suddenly dropped his intimidating composure and looked beaten. What did I miss? After a few moments of silence, Gage laughed again and shook his head as he said, "That's what I thought."_

_Gage started down the hall again, but then abruptly stopped without turning his back he said, "Oh and by the way, congrats to the most screwed up couple of Easton, it's nice to see everything worked out." _

_"We're just friends," I yelled at him, and he let out another laugh as he walked away and said, "I wasn't talking about you Brennan," and with that, he was gone. _

Have you ever been so confused, that you just stand there, hopelessly like an idiot? Wishing that maybe it will all make sense? I was having that moment. I turned my attention away from the empty hallway where Gage just stood, to a very sad looking Josh and I very pissed looking Trey, I couldn't describe the confusion that must have been shown on my face.

"Okay, what the hell happened? You guys are best friends, why the sudden hostility?" I asked, hoping that someone will answer me. Trey turned his attention from me, towards Josh, giving him a cold glare, waiting for an answer. Obviously Trey was leaving this to Josh. Great.

Josh shook his head, as if having an inner battle within himself and let out a deep breath. "I've gotta figure some things out. I'll talk to you later," Josh said, as he walked past me. I wasn't having any of that so I grabbed hold of his wrist, making him stop dead in his tracks, even thought I knew my strength wasn't much.

"Tell me what's going on," I demanded to him. "Please."

He ripped his arm out of my grasp, and with his back still turned said, "I'm going to see Ivy. I'll just talk to you later." He said the last part as he was walking down the hall, and soon was gone.

I turned to face Trey, who no longer looked pissed, but pity filled his face. "What's going on?" I asked again, sounding defeated.

"I'm sorry Reed, I would tell you, but it's not my place. Josh will tell you eventually, just give him some time," he said as he smiled warmly at me. I nodded my head and walked back to my room, to finish moving, without my extra strength Josh.

"Done," I huffed as I closed the night stand drawer to put the last of my things in, in my new shared Billings room with Noelle.

I slowly walked over to my new queen sized bed and to the welcoming Egyptian cotton silk sheets, plopping down onto it. Noelle was outside the room, talking on the phone to someone I suppose. I told her what happened with Josh while we were putting all of my stuff away. It was 2:48, and I still haven't heard from Josh since what happened this morning. I was going to take Trey's advice to give him some time, they were best friends.

Noelle agreed with Trey. Though she was somewhat skeptical as to why Josh and Gage would act that way towards each other. It was really bothering me the way they acted. And why would Gage say congrats to the most screwed up couple in Easton history, for finally being back together? If he wasn't referring to Josh and me, then who was he? Obviously Josh, since he didn't say it to me but why Josh?

Josh was together with Ivy. Josh. Ivy. Ivy. Josh. It doesn't make any sense. Unless Gage was referring to Josh and Ivy, but why would they be a screwed up couple, and why would they be back together? They never broke up. I knew at the moment Josh wasn't going to give me any answers and Trey wouldn't also. I would just have to figure out another way to get the answers that I wanted, and what better way than thinking over it with a coffee frapachino from coffee charma.

I jumped off of my comfortable bed and walked towards the bathroom. I washed my face quickly and brushed my teeth. I put on a minimal amount of light makeup, and a little lip gloss. I walked out of the bathroom to see Noelle sitting on her bed, with her Apple Mac Book sitting on her lap. "Hey," I said to get her attention as I walked over to my desk chair, where my new love Louis Vuitton Black Denim purse hung. I so love Noelle.

"Hey, listen I need to ask you a question," she said in a serious tone. I wanted to play around with her a little though.

"You just did," I said with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes at my immaturity and said, "Ha-ha. But seriously, I need to ask you something. Please sit." She motioned towards my bed that was directly besides her and I gave her a confused look but shrugged my shoulders and went along with whatever game Noelle was playing.

I eyed my I-phone that was sitting on my nightstand so I grabbed it while I asked her, "What is this oh so serious question?"

"Well, with everything that happened and that is still going on, I figured that you could use a vacation," she said simply, eyeing me, expectantly.

"What kind of vacation?" I asked skeptical, suddenly curious about what Noelle was planning.

"As you know, mid terms are over on Wednesday. Winter break is starting Saturday. Everyone will be leaving that weekend, and I was thinking a Caribbean adventure could be needed." I eyed her suspiciously, what was she coming up with now?

"What kind of Caribbean adventure?"

"Well, a lot of celebrities like to go to St. Barts for winter vacation, since the weather is great. I went for two weeks in the summer a few years ago and I loved it. The hotel, spa and beach were all amazing, and the shopping is to die for. I've been bugging my parents ever since to let me go over winter break and they finally allowed me, and I plan on bringing a few people," she said, with a hidden smirk.

"What few people?" I asked, trying to piece everything together.

"Well, you, Kiran and Taylor."

"Kiran, really? But who's Taylor…" I stumbled upon the name but then realization hit me. "Oh. My. God. Taylor? As in Taylor Bell?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"No, some Taylor I found on the street who happens to have the same exact name as our Taylor," Noelle joked as she rolled her eyes. "Of course Taylor!"

I was so shocked and confused. The last time I saw Taylor was my sophomore year, as she snuck out of Billings and Easton, early in the morning to leave for winter break. I remember her email telling me that Noelle was lying about where she was. Noelle, Kiran and Arianna all convinced me that Taylor had an emotional breakdown and was taking a break from school and life. But I found out from Natasha-my old roommate when I was a sophomore in Billings-that Taylor's parents took her out of Easton to go to public school because of all the stress and drama.

"But, where has she been? I thought she was in public school, what happened?" I asked.

"She was is in public school, but she decided to apply early to Stanford in January, and she had early acceptance. Me, Kiran and her have all kept in touch, and after I told them what has been going on around here, we all decided that it was time for a Billings reunion. I was just on a conference call with her and Kiran, to secure the plans to St. Barts and now," she gestured towards her Mac Book, "I'm finishing the plans." Noelle was smiling, triumphantly, knowing that she did something good.

"Wow," was I could manage. I was still so shocked about Taylor. Taylor Bell. The sweetest and smartest girl that had ever graced Billings. Besides Arianna, she was a great best friend to me. She was an innocent bystander with that was involved with Thomas' kidnapping. I could only hope we could rekindle our lost friendship.

"I know! So, what do you say? Reed, you could really use a relaxing vacation, and it will be drama free. I'll just call your parents to confirm everything, I just need you to yes," she said softly.

"Wait. You already talked to my parents?" I asked, once again shocked.

She smiled at me and nodded her head, "Of course I did. You're dad is so sweet and he cares a lot about you, he only wants the best."

I sat there, on my new bed weighing my options. 1) If I go to St. Barts with Noelle, Kiran and Taylor, I know I will have a lot of fun and it will for sure be relaxing, and I can escape all of this Josh and Ivy drama. 2) If I go home back to Pennsylvania, it will be like every other Christmas in Croton. Boring.

"Yes," I said simply. Who was I to pass up an experience to go to St. Barts, with my best friend and old roommates.

"Excellent," Noelle said, all smiles. "I'll finish making the plans. We're going to leave next Monday. It will give us time to say our goodbyes to everyone, and what not. We can start packing later on once I finish. It's going to be so much fun, I just know it. Thanks for coming."

"You don't get to thank me, I get to thank you, for everything Noelle. You truly are a great friend," I said, and went to give her a small hug. To my surprise she hugged me back.

"Please don't get too gushy, but you're welcome."

After I pulled away from our hug I walked over to my purse and put my I-phone in it, and I put on my Burberry Coat, as I turned towards Noelle. "I'll be back later, I'm going to go to Coffee charma to get a drink. Do you want anything?"

"No, I'm good. I'll just see you when you get back so we can start packing."

I waved her goodbye and walked out of the room, starting down the stairs. I was right about to hit the Parlor room when Amberley herself, graced her wonderful presence.

"Reed," she sneered. She was sporting a plaid skirt, and a matching jacket. I could have sworn I saw this exact outfit on Gossip Girl, being worn by Blair. Get your own identity much?

"Amberley," I smirked. "If you will excuse me, I'm going to your father's coffee shop. I think I'm going to start a countdown of how many days it will take Starbucks to buy your father's business out, even in this shitty economy."

I gave her a dark laugh, and one last smirk before I passed her and started towards the door. But, her annoying voice stopped me, "Whatever you say Reed. Now, if you'll excuse ME, I'm on my to speak with Noelle about our winter break plans to St. Barts, that me and her are going on together!"

She really is pathetic. I contemplated whether or not I really wanted to piss her off. Might as well get the excess anger that I'm holding within myself out, and it's even better that it's on Amberley. "Sorry to disappoint you Amber, hon, but Noelle just asked me to join her and some of our old friends to St. Barts. It really shocks me that you're so easily forgotten by your so called BFF. Now, I hate to be rude, but I'm on my way to drink your father's shitty coffee. I'll see you around."

I made my way out of the parlor, when I noticed Kiki, Rose and Tiffany trying to hold back their laughs, as they were peaking from the couch to witness me and Amberley's little tiff'. I nodded at them, as I made my way past and walked towards the front door.

Once I was outside I couldn't help but start to laugh at Amberley's facial expression when I spoke to her. It was a mix of anger, confusion and just plain dumbness. Her mouth was twisted in a weird way that looked as if she just ate something very sour and her eyes were furrowed together like she was in pain. Priceless.

I made my way across the quad and towards Coffee Charma. It was pretty busy, with the cold weather, everyone was trying to stay warm. I stood in line for about eight minutes, before I finally made my way to the cashier.

I ordered a coffee frapachino with whip cream and chocolate drizzle. I also was in the mood for biscotti's, so I ordered two plain biscotti's. Once I got my food and drink, I made my way to the quad when I heard someone call my name out.

I turned around to see my friend Mark, running towards me, holding his own coffee and a smile on his face. "Hey Mark."

"Reed! Finally, I was looking for you all day. Once I saw what happened at the meeting earlier I felt terrible. How are you?" He asked as we made our way to a lone bench in the quad.

"I'm okay, better than yesterday that is," I laughed.

"Are you sure? Is there anything I can do?" He asked.

I laughed again and said, "No Mark, but thanks."

He nodded his head, understanding and relaxed onto the seat. "I just can't believe it. Sabine. Freaking sweet, little Sabine. Who knew she would do it. I feel so betrayed and I wasn't even friends with her, but I didn't see it. I mean, if only we would've checked her out. How did you find out anyway?"

I took a deep breath and started to explain, "Well remember me and Ivy teamed up to find our stalker. We ended up finding out that Amberley's father, hooked up with Cheyenne, and we thought that would give Amberley a motive to kill Cheyenne. So, we went to look through Amberley's room, to see if we could find any evidence to hold our idea up. While we were looking, Ivy accidently knocked over a picture of Sabine's. The glass broke, and Ivy took the picture out noticing that there was a fold, and I was just going to get another frame for Sabine. Well, the fold in the picture was of Arianna and her father. That's when I put two and two together and figured that Sabine knew Arianna.

"So, as Ivy called the police I ran to the party and confronted Sabine. Everything was fine, she was denying everything, but once I called Arianna a psycho bitch, Sabine snapped. She then revealed that Arianna was her sister, and that she killed Cheyenne to get to me. Drugged Josh to hook up with Cheyenne when me and him were together and drugged me and Dash back at Legacy so we could hook up with each other. She was also sending me things of Cheyenne's to make me go crazy.

"After everything, she brought out a gun and pointed it towards me. But before she pulled the trigger, Josh jumped in front of her and was able to knock the aim to somewhere else. To, Ivy."

I stopped, I couldn't finish. I didn't want to relive everything over again. It was just too much. Before I knew it, I was in Mark's tight embrace. It wasn't awkward though. Just because I was a female and he was a male, didn't mean anything. We didn't see each other like that. He was like a brother to me and I was like a sister to him.

"God, I'm such an idiot to make you bring it up again. I'm sorry. But Reed, everything is going to be okay. You're safe now, everything is going to be okay," he said, as I was still in his tight embrace.

"Thanks." I pulled away and flashed him a smile, and he kissed my forehead softly, as he smiled back.

"No problem. I'm here, if you need anything," he said, reassuringly. He then looked as if he remembered something because a small smile formed on his lips and said, "But, I don't think you need me anymore. You must be glad that Hollis is back on the market."

"What?" I asked confused. My heart stopped as he said it. Hollis. My Hollis. My Josh Hollis. He couldn't be.

"Well, I saw Gage and Ivy together a few nights ago sneaking around really late at night. It had to be after midnight, I had to finish an article and publish it. From what I saw they were in some serious compromising positions," Mark said, with a light chuckle.

I felt sick. Ivy and Gage. Oh. My. God. "Reed, what's wrong?" Mark asked, worried.

"Gage and Ivy," were the only words I could make out. My breathing started to get heavier. She wouldn't. Ivy wouldn't. She loved Josh. She couldn't be the lying, backstabbing bitch I always thought she was. No way.

"Yeah. I just figured that they were done with. That's what everyone is saying at least. Are you okay?" Mark asked again.

"Are you sure it was Gage and Ivy?" I asked, bewildered.

"Positive. I could never miss her hair and stupid annoying giggle and his 'wannabe' seductive voice."

"I've gotta go," I said as I pushed myself up from the bench and grabbed my drink and food. I still could hear Mark's voice as I walked away calling for me, but I ignored it.

I ignored everything. The students all around me, whispering to their friends. I didn't have time for it. Trey asking if I was okay, as he jogged over to me. But once he saw my face he knew. That's what he didn't want to tell me. He knew about Ivy and Gage. So did Astrid. And so did Josh. And now, so did I.

* * *

So...what do you think? There it is! Ivy and Gage. Thanks again to technofever for her wonderful suggestion, helped so much! The next chapter will be more detailed, that's the only thing I don't think I did good with this chapter. Anyway, I don't know when I can update again. School is crazy, I'm going away soon and I need to make up for the work I will miss and with sports and a social life. So, expect a chapter this weekend! And PLEASE review the 15+ again! It made me so happy. I wrote this chapter that saturday, but from the PM i got from technofever, I changed it around, and here it is! Anyway, please read and review! That's all I ask!

-Marie


	10. Author's Note

_Hey Everyone!  
I hate to do this Author's Note, because I know I hate it when there's a story that hasn't been updated forever and you see a new chapter, and you get all excited but then see that it was only a stupid Author's Note sucks. Kind of like Paradise Lost...  
_

_Anyway, I really am sorry I haven't updated for a while. I've gotten so busy with school lately and since I'm such a perfectionist I have this thing where I expect straight A's, besides Biology which I suck in, in every subject just because I'm me and I'm killing myself with all the extra work. Also with sports it's been crazy. Traveling for tennis and practicing, I've had no time to even relax. I was sick all last week with the flu and really wanted to update but felt terrible, so opted not too. Plus, I do have a social life on the weekends, and that takes time up also. And when I do have a moment to relax, that's right before I go to sleep at night. I call it my 'quiet time'. Hah. _

_So, another reason I haven't updated is because Paradise Lost finally hit stores. And with the comment I made earlier, I stand by it. I was so pissed when I read Paradise Lost. I was on barnes and noble, before I left for a tennis tournament I wanted to get Jimmy Eat World's 2 albums Bleed America and Futures which you have to check out because their both awesome, I saw that Paradise Lost was released early. And me being me I decided to get it early. I remember when it finally got shipped out and delivered to my house, I practically screamed in delight but..._

_When I started to skim the first few chapters since I didn't have time to actually read it then and there, I was very disappointed. It all went so fast. We only got one chapter with Josh, but I wanted to know what happened to Ivy. I mean, after reading that first teaser chapter I was psyched for the release, the first chapter was definitely the best and everything went downhill from there. I did like though the whole Upton thing, I thought it was a nice change, but it was still to fast for me. Kate Brian's writing was never liked that before, I don't know what happened. Anyway, with the cliff hanger at the end, I think maybe Danielle Ryan had something to do with it, or his mother. My guess. Maybe Poppy, but I doubt it. _

_Anyway, it's safe to say I will not be updating this story anymore...What's the point? I was really off with the true story anyway. Spring/Summer I might start to write a new story for Suspicion if I have time, but only if I have time. I won't write unless I know I can dedicate myself to the story and updates, it's not fair to you guys._

_Well, sorry again. And I hope everyone's having a good winter and school semester. Can't wait for spring break! _

_-Marie_


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